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Oblivion.There is a light that never goes out;
and aren't you beautiful? Goddamned right, you are.
When did the darkness slip under and find this letter?
Before the drag escaped my mouth, or the glass in your eyes
settled to find a vague memory of amity once frequent, replaced
by old aches and hair being let down.
Now back to the camaraderie you had with-in me, and the backslaps
and laughs we find once more in the strength of your handshakes and
the proof in your eyes.
The light never goes out.
Someday..."Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Publius Ovidius Naso.
I'm waiting for the day when I can no longer feel the sting of your words. Feel the weight of the heavy hand. The force. The impact. Be able to ignore the feeling of being hollow. Lifeless. Nothing but gaunt looks and blank stares. Not even being able to recognize myself. Becoming the stranger.
I'm waiting for the day when the aches and pains dissipate. No more nights where the weight of the day lingers in the air. Crushing me. Suffocating. Sleepless nights because my mind is going... going... going. Thoughts pushing and prodding. Forcing me to lie awake for hours. Never letting me rest.
I'm waiting for the day where my stomach doesn't twist and churn with the stress. Doubled up in pain. Laying there listening. Don't pretend like I can't hear you. I hear you. I hear everything. Your voice dripping with disappointment and
reasons you should listen.i. because you are the reason
i want to give up
sometimes. because i'll never be
as wonderful as you, and i
feel like a piece of nothing compared to you. but
you are the one holding my hand
and pushing me forward, gently,
you are the reason
i keep trying.
ii. because i don't speak
often. because this
is a piece of me
i'm afraid to show.
iii. have you ever felt
like giving up? like
you're the gum stuck
on someone's shoe, and they
only want to be rid of you?
have you ever broken down
just because it feels like
no one cares?
because if you ever do,
i'll be there for you.
iv. because i need you to,
and this is the only way
i'll ever ask.
What Is Love? I'm missing a piece of me. A critical part. I suppose I was born much like every other person. I'm just missing one crucial piece. They've forgotten a heart. Where my heart should be is a cavity with nothing inside except a small black stone. Cold and hard.
Love. What was it about love? It's what everybody had. What everyone wanted. What everyone spent their entire lives searching for. Everyone, that is, except for me. Love was such an alien topic. A concept I could never grasp. A desire I never felt. Not that I ever felt much.
Stones don't leave you much in way of feeling. All you feel is how the stone feels. Cold and hard. Small, alone, and lost. Always something there just out of grasp. Something you can't quite figure out. Something...
And of course something was missing. Had I been able to peer into my chest I'd have known just what it was. But, as that i
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