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LifelineI hate how I look;
The bags beneath my eyes.
I hate who I am;
The endless torrent of lies.
Sometimes I do things I know I shouldn't
And I don't do things I know I should,
Only that I could and would,
Because that's how people work.
Everyone has motives
And nobody is selfless
In this world that doesn't want
Everyone's gonna die
And I'm not gonna lie;
Sometimes that thought is the only thing
That gets me through the day.
I miss my old razor blade;
Scissors don't go deep enough
This red isn't my favorite shade;
I like it purer,
Then I could be surer
That I'm a threat to myself.
I'm trying to cut down,
As apposed to cutting everything else,
But I doubt I'll ever stop
Because every slash,
Every bloody drop,
The whole crimson rash,
I'm still alive
And I am
My Scars Prove You Wrong (finished song)Scars on the surface, on my skin
Look at my wounds to know where I’ve been
Throwing me against my own walls
But I’ve learned to fly, when I fall
And I know my scars are only on the surface.
I know that I,
I am not worthless
No matter how they break me,
No matter how they hurt me
You know a heart
Keeps on bleeding, when it breaks it goes on beating
I, I’ll keep on keeping on
‘Cause my scars prove you wrong.
You can tear down my protection
Destruction is your obsession
Your hatred is resurrecting me.
No matter how they break me,
No matter how they hurt me,
Ill keep on breathing when I’m held underwater
Even if breathing gets a little bit harder
I’ll keep on walking just a little bit farther
And you can’t hold me back
I want to be....I want to be one of those girls
The ones with the three inch gap between their thighs and the stick thin legs.
One of those teenagers
Who you see in the street with their arms all sliced up.
One of those children
Who don't have to count everything.
One of those kids
Who have a boyfriend and are never alone.
One of those students
Who has loads of friends.
One of those people
Who can be just 'Fine'.
But I want to be Normal.
I want to be able to eat.
I want to be able to not cut.
I want to be able to just relax.
I want to be able to not be alone.
I want to be able to make friends.
I want to be just fine.
I admit it. I self harm. I know what you all think, and the answer is no, I don't do it for attention. I do it for a sense of control. I do it so I don't have to feel the emotional pain anymore.
Many people think that it's easy for self harmers to stop, but newsflash: it's not. The first cut is always the shallowest, the wondering, the curiosity. The first cut is the one that's the most dangerous. Because that first cut is the one that's going to make you addicted.
And believe me, you will get addicted. Because when you make that first 'innocent' slice across your skin, the short-term relief that comes with it will leave you in ecstasy. I'm not trying to make you think that self harm is glorious in any way, because it's not. The scars that come with it become so annoying that you wonder why you ever self harmed in the first place. You get mad at yourself, since you can't wear short sleeves anymore. And then that anger at yourself turns into more self harming.
Attention Seeker"Attention seeker."
As I slide the knife across my tongue
The poison resting in my lungs
Fighting till the war's been won
But you're right, this is all done for fun.
The rope around my neck as I pull it tight
The struggles I face as I die to fight
And slowly, I fade off into a dark night...
Goodbye, smiles, goodbye, light...
Dying, breaking, losing sight
Of all that's proper, all that's bright
With all my strength and all my might..
I mean, I do this for attention.. right?
In a Little Girl's MindThere sits the girl with the things in her eyes
Monsters, destruction, and sweet butterflies
Hopscotch and daisies, surrounded by screams
Beautiful dresses now torn at the seams
Crayons and paintbrushes, villains and grins
Young, gladsome innocence, hatred and sins
Little red houses on roads left to fade
Gorgeous moonlight shining off of the blade
Blood pouring out as she cries her own name
Knowing she's forced to take each bit of blame
She could have stopped it and left it behind
All of these things in her troubled young mind
She could have saved them if she dared to try
Rather, though, she left herself there to die.
Now, others watch as she sits on the ground
Keeping their distance and letting her drown
In her own worries and things she won't tell
Waiting for her mind to kill her as well…
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More