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Submitted by - DAS 8
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koshplappit Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Just try not to judge people before you know them.
DarkPika-Sama Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's a matter choosing which words to use, what situation you are in and who you are dealing with but don't be afraid of being honest with people. :D
gimmesomesushi Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Here's the thing: You get freedom of speech to express how you see things, and others get freedom of speech to react to what you have expressed.
It goes both ways.
hakoshi928 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Student Digital Artist
This describes me... And all those awkward moments I have. I often get the line of, "I don't wanna hear it."
Nekovix Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's a bad side of me... Unfortunately, I'm brutally honest to those around me because they know I couldn't lie within an inch of my life... XD I remember when I was 11, me and my older sister were having a rap battle, and I said "Oh your nose... Oh your nose... It's so... BIG!!" :iconotlplz: Because it was a rap battle (I'm African American and can't rap for my life... :iconmeowdummyplz:), I was kidding, but she's now self-conscious about her nose. :nuu: I learned later that even BEFORE the rap, she was self-conscious... :icononionfailplz: Some brother I am... XD My family always knew I was special... :meow:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
Keep talking :)
hawaii42612 Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know what you mean. everyone says "don't tell lies" so I don't and then get into trouble with friends or whatever because they think I am being mean. I am just blunt is all. Then they say "a LITTLE white lie is ok" lies are lies. but I know what you mean. but at least you have reasons for not liking someone. if you don't, instead of telling, just avoid them so people don't misjudge you.
Silverstreak23 Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist
Just be careful on what your honest about. Sometimes you need to sugarcoat it.)))
Fitzsharpe Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure, you can be honest. But I believe it's the way of how you deliver your words.
PseudonymousRMY Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, I have the same exact problem, I am waaaay too honest, I say the things as they are, as I actually see them, and I like being like that, cause it helps me see who are my real friends, those who stay with me even though I'm kinda rude

but my mom says I'll end up being alone, I don't think so, though, just stay like that, be yourself
Kaiyamin Featured By Owner May 26, 2013
You do have freedom of speech. What that also implies, though, is that you have the freedom to NOT speak. It's completely up to you. Just know that, regardless of what you say or do not say, your right to freedom of speech doesn't mean that your speech will have no consequences. :)
ForgottenFears Featured By Owner May 26, 2013
As long as you don't go out of your way to say things that would be hurtful it's fine to be honest. If your honesty would hurt them and they DIDN'T ask then don't say it. Otherwise if they DID ask then be as polite as possible but still be honest. After all if they asked the question then they should be prepared for the answer. I guess in a way it all depends on the situation.
Pineapple-Insurance Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist
You do have freedom of speech, but so do the people you "tell the truth" to. You're free to say what you think about them, and they're free to respond and say what they think about you. It goes both ways.
NoriMori Featured By Owner May 26, 2013
Yeah, this is what I'm always saying to people who say mean things and then get their panties in a bunch when people retaliate, and start prattling about their "freedom of speech".
Murder-Meatball Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It is all about how you tell someone the truth. There are not just two options: the cold, hard truth and the snuggery coated lies (as some may believe). There’s a ton of different kind of lies and reasons for them and there’s a ton of ways to tell the truth. You do not have to be brutal or cold just because you tell the truth: you might need to learn that truth is subjective, never final, almost always has at least two sides to it and that truth does not equal being negative or always telling people your opinion. If you have nothing positive or at least none offensive (in the context) to say maybe you do not have to say it every time. Sure there is freedom of speech, but that has nothing with respect for others. Also, If you are always frank, and hard and focus on the negative sides of things (because positive truths rarely get people called mean), people will dislike you not for your honesty but because you are unnecessarily harsh.

Example: A friend gives you a cake as a birthday gift but you are allergic to something in it that the friend missed. Now you can either tell the friend that “you cannot eat the cake so that sucks” and stop there or you can continue the truth by saying that “it was still a lovely thought and you appreciate the effort that the friend put into making you something to make you happy”. Saying only the first is the truth but saying both is also the truth and a much nicer one for the friend to hear at that.

As long as you are respectful, does not constantly voice your opinion without it being constructive or relevant, and not always focus on the negative side of the truth you should do fine in social situations. If you however do not: kudos to you for being an uncompromising ass that only sees things in black and white while defending yourself with the first amendment. But the cost of that is that people will not like you most of the time. Sorry!
Murder-Meatball Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ops... *sugary
I'm dyslectic so sometimes spell check throws me a curveball... :P
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's important to be honest with people, and I admire you for that... I'd love to take lessons from you... (*hint hint* :P ) all kidding aside. It's a good thing. My fiancee is proficient at being 'rudely' (as I sometimes call it) honest with people (even me) but I've learned it's just the way she (and you) is. *shrug* so what. You just gotta remember to be honest and sensitive. But don't worry about what people say or think; they're probably just jealous and can't admit it ;) Keep rocking
Flagged as Spam
MsMeli Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I entirely hope you aren't serious with this comment. If you are, then you seriously need a fucking reality check. Having friends/family that care about you makes it quite easy to hurt their feelings. You may not have any of this, judging by your extremely rude and ignorant comment, but its true nonetheless. Freedom of speech isn't a safety net for being a heartless undignified prick, sorry to say. Some people are civilized and sensitive and actually care, so if anyone should "go fuck themselves" and "kill themselves", it would be you.
covenantfighter Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay. Will do.
Do you want a text from hell to tell you how it went?
MsMeli Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't have texting I'm afraid. Email?
covenantfighter Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nah my email address is private and for child pornography websites only I'm afraid.
What about smoke signals? I hear that there's plenty of fire in hell. [link]
MsMeli Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, how sad. Smoke signals doesn't tell me much in the way of words though. :C Radio transmission?
Endless-Ness Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Filmographer
I'm reminded of the webcomic "The Summer of Blake Sinclair" about a guy who's really honest, sometimes brutally. In a the latest page, a girl is saying to Blake's best friend: "You two are very similar! You're both really honest. You're just less of a jerk about it!"

People often use "freedom of speech" as excuse to say very mean things that really don't need to be said. If someone is behaving in a way I don't like, is doing something wrong, being stupid or acting like a jerk I will be 100% honest with him and tell him exactly what I think of his behavior. But if I see someone who has really ugly teeth, I won't walk up to him and say "Dude, you have super ugly teeth". I can say "hey I'm just being honest!" all I want, doesn't change the fact this is uncalled for and I really didn't need to say that to his face. It's not freedom of speech, it's just being mean.

And then there's a way to say everything. "I don't like you" is a really aggressive way of expressing your freedom of speech. Something like "I don't like when you do this" is a lot more polite and gets the point across just the same. Some people say that if they have to be careful how to phrase everything they say it's not freedom of speech but I disagree. On the contrary if you watch the way you say something and try to be more polite and less aggressive, others are always more willing to listen to what you're saying.
EsperIncantations Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think this post hit pretty much exactly my view on things as well.
If these truths you speak doesn't help anything, and in fact, only end up hurting people, perhaps you should ask yourself why it's important for you to tell them.

Freedom of speech is sometimes treated as a free pass to what can often come off as simply just being rude. As Endless-ness said, one thing is calling a jerk out on being a jerk, another is hurting people's feeling by pointing out things that might be a major sore spot for them.

I remember meeting one of those "brutally honest" people when I was a teenager. My friend who introduced us always talked about how refreshingly honest this girl was. The first thing she said to me was "You really shouldn't be wearing flat shoes, it make you look like you have clown feet."
I had just gotten off a job where I had been standing for 8 hours straight. I wasn't about to walze around in high heels, and exactly what she pointed out was already a major insecurity. She didn't do me, or herself, anything good by saying it, in fact, the only thing she did was making me feel really really bad about myself.

So perhaps ask yourself this, OP. Will anything good come out of your honesty? If not, then it's probably good to rethink why it's so important for you to tell it, unless you're actively enjoying making people feel bad. In which case, I think there are bigger issues.
Endless-Ness Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student Filmographer
Well said!

Indeed freedom of speech just means that you won't be arrested or persecuted for expressing an opinion not matter its nature, but it doesn't mean you won't be critiscized for it. It is your constitutional right to be an asshole or a complete idiot, but it doesn't mean you should be. Just as it is my right to wear a mullet, but it is not necessarily a good idea.
blutastic Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If someone is telling you you're a bully, you probably are one. Freedom of speech does not entitle you to be an ass to those around you.
wolf2010 Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
The only thing making you tell someone you dislike them is you; if your speech is subject to the whims of your emotions, is it truly free? I would reflect on why you feel compelled to voice a negative and judgmental opinion--I think you will find that you need to let go of your judgement of others and accept that they are them and you are you, and that you can only control one of those two people.
keidream Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
It depends on what's most important to you, expressing your opinion or expressing kindness and understanding. Sometimes, it's hard to tell which is more important. I try to go by this rule, when if I think what I'm about to say might hurt someone's feelings, it should at least be two of these things: honest, necessary, and kind.
quiverings Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Keep being honest. It's a refreshing quality to see in the world for a change. You don't have to doubt yourself.
Alviniju Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
I support a policy of if someone wants to know what they do to enrage you, to tell them, I do not however go and point out problems randomly (I am not saying you do)
VFrance Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
----Dr. Seuss
TheFelinianWithWings Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Bitter honesty is better than sweet lies. Makes you a better person. I wish I could hug the secret teller.
glorifield Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Be brutally honest, but the focus should be more on the honesty than the brutality.
vampirezombies Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
In my opinion always be honest. Even if there are some people who wont like you for it you'll find plenty more who appreciate it .
supergal12000 Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
There's a fine line with being constructively honest and an asshole.
HectorAdame Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Next time leave an example of what you consider honesty. That way everyone could tell you a more direct answer, don't you think?
BladeBites Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm the same way, I am very blunt. I try not to say anything too hurtful, though.
My friends all know how I can be though, and they tend to accept it. :XD:
ogiGamedev Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
Blunt honesty has its place, as does silence and polite "lies". I prefer blunt honesty and silence myself.
lidsworth Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There's no doubt that we have freedom of speech. We can say whatever's on our mind, but the other side of it is common sense. Here's a relateble story, God gave man free will, he just told them not to eat the apple from the tree. They ate the apple from the tree. We suffered the consequences. You have freedom of speech, but you also have sense and common sense. Think about what you say and who you're saying it too.
Beffy-Hart Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Professional Artist
There's a difference in tactfully letting someone know what's up, and bullying. If you're having such a hard time with people chances are you're a bully and you don't know how to talk to people.
MrBoxerBriefs Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
Depends if I can use the other person in some way shape or form. If not then who cares if their feelings gget hurt. :iconimsotiredplz:
moka-asaki Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's ok to think these things and be honest, but sometimes it's better to shut your mouth rather then telling someone something that they will hurt from or think is mean. If they don't keep asking about it then just don't say anything.
Like the old saying,"if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything"
It's better to not hurt people and not say anything then say something hurtful that they didnt ask for
namzinato Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
Sounds like this person wants the freedom to say anything on their mind, but doesn't want anyone to call them out for saying it. You can't have it both ways. If you're the type of person who can't take backlash, then you're not the type of person who can pull off saying whatever they want. Otherwise, choosing which comments to keep to yourself is a basic part of learning to socialize with others and this person might benefit from practicing some moderation.
therandomfactor Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
Just because you have the right to speak, it does not mean you have the requirement. If people you speak to are suggesting that you are a bully, you may find it more useful to your peace in this life to reconsider what you say, when you say it, and to whom you are speaking. People appreciate honesty, but your honest does not have to come brutal and unrequested. Certainly you do not have to be fake to most people, but there's nothing wrong with silently ignoring those who do not appeal to you.
Cymphia Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i agree with you completely :heart: :hug:
Sallygurl22 Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
To me there's being honest, and there's just being a jerk. There was a girl in high school constantly tell me how she felt about my art. She would tell me that she hated my art and that it looked horrible. She also would tell me if I looked bad or if my outfit wasn't cute. It had hurt me a lot and it even pushed me to stop drawing. Yeah, people can tell me that's a stupid reason for quitting art, but that's just how much it hurt me. I never asked for her opinion. I never asked for advice from her.

I guess if someone asks for the truth it's okay to be honest, but sometimes people don't need the brutal truth. Just being calm and telling them how feel in a polite way is my way of being honest.
Homssutotuli Featured By Owner May 25, 2013

But there's no need to be rude to be honest. Being just nice and telling "white lies" is so different from being actually polite. Still sometimes some people do not want to hear the truth even if it's correctly said and get angry and call you mean, rude, heartless etc., but don't mind. You did a great favor, for yourself and also others.

Few years ago I learned not to make these "small lies" to people around me and never to myself. After that my life has become so much easier. I'm able to get along with many kind of personalities, but if there's someone I actually do not like, I don't need to create excuses to hang with that kind of people "just to be nice" or "because I must so I can get thing x".
harleyrulz Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
God (insert your own deity here if you have one) forbid you should hurt someone's feelings. They might cry or something. Say what you want, you'll end up surrounded only by people you like or alone. Either way it was your choice.
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