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Secret. 13348 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 13348 by DeviantArtSecret
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Submitted by - DAS 8
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:iconjepuisadore17:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
As for helping the friend who is cutting, and all the other friends, think of what you would want them to do for you, would that help?
I have a friend who has a boyfriend. There's another guy who likes her, and keeps making advances. I'm friends with all 3, moreso with the girl and the crushing guy. I told him to back off because he's going to get his face rearranged (literally) and her to back off because she's been with the other guy for So Long, and the crushing boy is a fad. We both know that, we admit it openly, but she keeps allowing him to be holding her hand and cuddling and talking crush-words to her. Because she feels Worthless and she wants someone to love her.
Do I know how she feels? Yup. Been there, done that. What can I do?
Talk to her, telling her that she should soooo not be doing that, just stay with her boyfriend and the crush will wear off. And if it doesn't, at least don't cheat. You're better than that.
Does she believe me? No. I don't really expect her to,
I distract her and him so that they aren't so close, they aren't talking so crush-like.

Trust me, you're not useless.
Your friends need You, which means You can step up.

You're not useless.
Go help them.
:)
Reply
:iconpenguinsgoboom:
penguinsgoboom Featured By Owner May 25, 2013
I have to be honest i agree with Pyrosaitan1 if not as harsh :/ Ive been through the same sort of situation with my best friend. Mine was a little different as she had also started to smoke and take drugs which as i hadnt experienced this before, found it hard to understand. How i got over my worries (and please dont eat into me pyro!) and pain was to be the best friend i could. If you make their life the best as you possibly can, then why will they want to leave. I know i cant understand your personal situation but i hope this helped :)
Reply
:iconcello-squadron:
cello-squadron Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Student Digital Artist
if you have a counselors office at school, what you can do is go in there and say you want like a schedule change and instead slip the counselor a note that says what's happening, and sign it "I would like to remain anonymous throughout the course of this". that's what i did and it worked!
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
Tell the person to grow a pair, there are people starving in Africa, I don't think any first world problems are worth any of this emo vullshit like cutting yourself or suicide, if anything it makes you more pathetic
Reply
:iconfenwolf2003:
Fenwolf2003 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
I like you, you're one of the few people who comments here without being a massive fucktard and crying about emo teenagers wanting attention.
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013
Well that's new, someone actually GETS it, thanks btw ^w^
Reply
:iconjepuisadore17:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
"Any" first world problems? Rape, murder, friend's suicide, parents die everywhere, disease is rampant always, siblings leave if they can, people die, animals die, people betray, and feel worthless for so many reasons.
Everyone has their own battles, don't you dare tell someone they're "pathetic". Yeah, maybe they Should get up and fight a little more. But maybe that's How they're fighting.
And until you talk to them, stay with them, see what they're going through, you shouldn't judge all the crap they're doing by calling them pathetic.
And learn how to spell "bullshit", just 'cause you ticked me off.
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013
I hope I did, why do I care about how pissed some little girl gets when I tell her the truth? They're bathetic wastes of time that are better off dead the way they want if they don't get their asses into gear
Reply
:iconjepuisadore17:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013
They don't want to be dead. They want things to change, and sometimes the one who wants the change Can't control it. It Has to be other people. People who, instead of bitching about others being pathetic, actually try and give some advice *a.k.a. look up and grow a heart while they grow a spine. They Need you, why are you being a jerk?
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013
Because I had the exact same problem from kindergarten to year 8, I'm in the ninth grade, and I know that through all of that I never once cut myself, stabbed myself or tried killing myself over something as pathetic as another's opinion, I got out of that retched slump with minimal help, because I'm not weak like that, I didn't allow myself to fall to such a disgusting state, why should anyone else be allowed to do that either? I was picked on by a blonde midget with his two lackeys twice my size in width and height all through primary school, then picked on by another midget and a ginger with a homosexual lisp for two years, then I realized, "why should I give a fuck?" I'm now twice the size of most of my schoolmates, either above or below me, I'm most definitely stronger, and I have friends, but these people, who I only call people out of spite of the rest of my species in general, can't do what I did with ease with a simple opiffony (or however the fuck you spell it) why should I give them the time of day when I didn't need it?
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:iconjepuisadore17:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
You're going through different situations.
It's good that you were strong with that. What haven't you been strong with?
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
Tolerance in the weak
Reply
:iconjepuisadore17:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013
Then that makes you weak because you don't love.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconfoggehgirltaylr:
FoggehGirlTaylr Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You've obviously never experienced true pain. And I'm almost envious, but I'm not because at least I can show empathy now.
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
True pain? Bitch I've been picked on since I was 6 and it only stopped coz I refused to be so mentally weak and accept that my problems are worth nothing to anything, what is cutting myself or wishing I was dead gonna do to stop it? And how is someone calling me names perhaps every day "true pain"? That isn't pain, people starving and thinking food in general is a luxury, intense heat and walking barefoot through harsh conditions for contaminated water, or living in broken down makeshift huts in the rain, that's true pain, I'm sick of these first world pathetic losers thinking they have problems, I've felt their crap, for about 8 years, and snapped out of it on my own, I realized (when I grew a pair no less) that my life is rather luxurious, I have a warm bed, plentiful food, a family, schooling, all these possessions, and I haven't done anything to get it, and I don't blame anyone for the fact I couldn't get friends in primary school, it was because I'm an arrogant, unsociable, self richious son of a bitch who couldn't get his shit together in time and realize that the world isn't about me, and that just sitting in a dark room shoving a knife in my arm or writing dark poetry is only gonna make me look even more like a freak, someone who wishes he was someone else, someone who wasn't a pathetic waste of human recourse and had a fucking set between his legs, all those people are is pathetic, too mentally weak to realize that the whole word ISN'T against them, and actually function to be useful in society instead of hindere it from moving further, don't give me fucking crap about "true pain" because "true pain" is something physical where vlad the impaler might sentence you to death by shoving a man-sized spike up your ass, setting you upright and letting it move slowly through your cuts while you endure the pain for the next 3 horrifying days before what you can then be ALLOWED to think of as the "sweet release" of death, not some fat kid on the other side of the classroom calling you a stupid loser, coz if you really take it THAT far, he's right
Reply
:iconfoggehgirltaylr:
FoggehGirlTaylr Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad you can realize all of these things, but some people can't. They don't know how to realize these things, and that is actually mentally painful. Just because it isn't the same pain, it doesn't mean it isn't painful. True, maybe cutting and wishing you were dead isn't going to help, and I totally get what you're saying, that there are animals abused everyday, children crying themselves to sleep at night because they can't get food, and the only thing that seems to ease the searing pains in their stomach is by release of tears. But some people don't know how to move passed the things that are mentally deterring and deteriorating. Just because you have the mentality and insight enough to do that, it doesn't mean everyone else does, sadly. There is always someone in a worse situation than us, but that doesn't make our situation less painful. True pain to me could be just a little flu shot in the arm for you. But I'm not going to belittle you for not understanding my pain, because obviously you don't think of it as pain, and that's fine. What I'm saying is, just because someone hasn't learned how to bypass their obstacles, it doesn't mean they are weak. It means they need a little help, and it's people who call them weak and tell them they can't do anything that only cloud their views that much more.
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner May 28, 2013
the human race is so fragile its kinda sad, huh T_T
Reply
:iconfoggehgirltaylr:
FoggehGirlTaylr Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yep, it really is.
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:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner May 28, 2013
T_T:iconirritatedplz:
Reply
:iconfoggehgirltaylr:
FoggehGirlTaylr Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*shrug* It's okay anyway~
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconthiendrah:
Thiendrah Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
Take away all the sharp objects. Give him/her/it safety scissors and knives. That'll at least slow it down.
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner May 24, 2013
Then they use the sharpness of the scissors to slice cuts into them instead of stab, and how are they meant to eat food?
Reply
:iconsilvermoon442:
silvermoon442 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know how you feel. I have friends who cut and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop or help them.... :(
Reply
:iconxxnibinonekoxx:
xXNibiNoNekoXx Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
There's two options in my mind for this depending on the severity of their cutting/depression. The first being, are they willing to change? Like truly, 100%, give up everything to change their ways? If so, you should stay and be really supportive and help lead them to maybe see a psychologist or somebody who has an education in advising people. Between the professional help and the friendly support it may lead them along the right path to helping themselves. (never force them though, it should be their choice after you positively encourage them)

But the second option, (this is where my personal experience kicks in) is you may just have to...stop. It sounds rather cruel but if they're doing it for attention (they like making people worry over them for example) or they are unaccepting to any and all help, yours included, you may have to stop being friends with them. At this point your relationship is extremely toxic both ways. She's using you to fuel her bad habits and you're becoming stressed because you can't do anything to help. Sometimes just letting go is the only thing you can do, because if they are unwilling to change, you can never help them no matter how hard you try. It's an impossible fight that you will always lose. This is the hardest choice of course, but it's necessary and simply a part of life. Doesn't mean you gave up on them, it means they gave up on themselves.
Reply
:iconfaff33:
faff33 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
You're putting that feeling on yourself even though you're important to humanity. You (and everyone else in general) is important in any way.
Reply
:iconclaymasey98:
claymasey98 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
You can help. I used to cut myself and I know my friends used to feel guilty because there was nothing they could do to stop me. Just gently ask your friends or whoever if they want to talk, and if not, you're always available to listen, you'll always be there for them. Sounds cheesy but it made me feel so much better.
Reply
:iconlikepeeringeyes:
LikePeeringEyes Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist
Don't feel useless. I have friends with a lot of emotional issues and me not being able to help them sent me deep into a secret depression which I never told anyone before. Depression's a horrible place to be in, you just need to be there, tell them you'll always be there, try and find ways. Taking them to the doctor helps a lot, I never got help for my depression and it kills when you don't have any, but I managed to break free. Just talking helps so much.
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:iconr3alizing:
R3alizing Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
Yesterday one of my friends call me in the evening, saying that she does it again and that she cut to deep. So I went to her as fast as I can. She sat in that field with blood all over her arm. I bandaged the wound, took her to a doctor and that was it. I know I cant stop her doing that, and I cant do more to help with my silly 15 years, thats up to her parents (who know).
I can just be there and show her that I dont judge her for the mistakes she made and that I wont leave her alone and dont care about my hands an shirt full of her blood.
I think that you help her very much with being there, but... Don't try to make the job of a psychologist. Cutting is like a drug and she/he probably wont stop until she/he get professional help, but thats not your fault.
Im sure you make a good job ^^
Youre not useless.
If it is too much to take, talk with somebody.

[I'm sorry for my bad english. Not my language =| ]
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:iconsteeltalon:
Steeltalon Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
Your support will make all the difference - trust me. Even if it doesn't feel like you're helping, your being there will take their mind off the pain, even for a little while. As an ex-cutter, I can tell you...we feel like shit for dragging you down with us a lot of the time. But when we're calmer....that's when we need to be able to reach out, hug someone, and hear that they won't go anywhere.

But I understand that people like you need help sometimes, too. You need someone to listen to you as much as we do. So if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
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:iconcorax-x:
Corax-x Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Student Writer
Coming from some one who was the cutter....just....stay with us because we need someone to pull our attention away from the pain if only for a little while. Trust me we feel pretty bad for dragging you into it sometimes.

But when it's all over and we've calmed down and are thinking straight....thats when we really need the shoulder to cry on.
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:iconthatonesaint:
ThatOneSaint Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
I couldn't stop her. I felt so powerless and like I was nothing more then an audience for her..
Reply
:icondawnthehedgie:
DawntheHedgie Featured By Owner May 22, 2013
I know this feel so well. I'm the one who everyone comes to, and the one who throws my hand out to catch people, and constantly reminds them that if they call for help, I'm right there. I swear up and down, but the truth is I can only do so much. I can only be there for so long, and do so much to help. ><
Reply
:iconvivicool995:
vivicool995 Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can completely relate to this feeling. When a loved one is cutting and they are stubborn about doing it it's so frustrating to those of us who only want to help.
Reply
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