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Secret. 13303 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 13303 by DeviantArtSecret
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:iconwaitwhatwhy123:
WaitWhatWhy123 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
-cries-
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:iconmojoliazon:
MojoLiazon Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Professional General Artist
I had someone reply to my post with the following quote, and think it might be helpful if I'll clarify it. Not intended to offend nor condemn anyone, but hopefully to show some humanity and truth to those who hold similar opinions to the quotes below.

"It's complete bullshit that things can take a "nightmare" turn and can cause you to be like this. At the end of the day, some brain conditions and/or trauma and some types of special needs can cause this aggression, but blaming it on past events and mental health is complete bull shit in my eyes."

These three statements are in direct conflict with one another. This belief system in practice leads to more harm than benefit. I once had a more or less identical theory on the topic.  

You accept that "brain conditions and/or trauma and some 'special needs' (what?) can cause this aggression" yet "blaming it on past events/mental health" is "bullshit" --- firstly, that's not what I did, and secondly, since past events can include the causes of some derangements, no, it's not bullshit, either. Regarding mental health as being not a cause of cruelty --- I believe it's accepted as the main cause worldwide, or one of the main causes. That does not mean all people who go through bad times become cruel, and it doesn't mean all people with mental health issues do either. 

My original post referred to some ways gentle and loving people can lose their way. This is scientifically known to occur. It's not uncommon. But the idea of accepting this translates to some people as apologist, or excusing, or as demanding forgiveness. It's not any of those. It's a small step towards comprehension of something most of us don't want to comprehend. When you've been hurt, being angry can seem like your only refuge, your only defense, a claim of the validity of the injustice perpetrated against you. These are exactly the misconceptions and contradictions that prevent some folks who've taken a bad turn from getting help. Condemnation can send them further downwards. Truly cruel people don't want to change. They don't believe it's wrong. 

It's scientifically, medically proven that events can happen to people that can cause them to become out of control or violent. This is old news. It can happen to anyone. Your heart's intent doesn't matter when your brain is unhinged. Most people will go through at least one period of temporary madness in their lifetimes and there is no guarantee of safety from it, unless you consider a permanent state of insanity safe.

If people can accept that real issues exist that can cause cruel behavior, then they are one step closer to having some sympathy for those who suffer from any of these disorders. Nobody says you must have sympathy. But please, recognize that some people who have done cruel things are not necessarily bad people. Cruelty is a broad term, too. The OP didn't even say they beat the animal, or anything. Cruelty can be as simple as being emotionally locked away, unavailable, to some creature human or otherwise that is in need. Kinda like what's going on with some posters who thought their response of condemnation would be helpful. 
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:iconmojoliazon:
MojoLiazon Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Professional General Artist
Those standing in condemnation and judgment are showing some serious naivete. 

All it takes for a good, loving, kind person to become an abuser is a bit of brain damage. It can happen from injury, illness, poisoning from many common sources... And the person has become a cruel caricature of themselves that they never would have believed in their wildest dreams they could be. I know people who have become lost like this. It's tragic. Many cruel people did not start out like this, and they would have been the first people --- like those judging right now --- to condemn a cruel person. 

If you have no sympathy, then you have no comprehension of how easily we can become exactly what we hate. Judging is dangerous. I commend the poster for having the guts to front up, and I hope they do better in future. I would not shun them nor condemn them --- because that's cruel. 
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:iconiwannabetreo:
Iwannabetreo Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I understand. And it must have been very hard for both of you.
But I hope you don't get another pet until you learn how to control these things. Even if it was just yelling. If it was for no reason, then it just makes no sense to the dog and that's damaging for it, too.
Best of luck to ya, OP. Hope you get better. :)

:tighthug:
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:iconmysaddelight:
MySadDelight Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yo. Keep your negative opinions to yourself. I understand your feelings, I've worked rehabilitating abused animals for about four years, but think about what you're doing. If the OP was to look at some of these comments, you know what she'd feel? Anger. And you know what she's trying to control? ANGER. She's done something horrible. She understands this and admits it. That takes some balls, even if you are staying anonymous. I know for a fact the previous owners of half dead kittens and starving dogs that we got at the shelter wouldn't have thought twice about their actions. Not to mention, not once does it say she actually abused her. It said she was cruel, which can mean a lot of things, especially when you're hurting. Think about when a loved one dies -- don't we all look back and think "Wow, I wish I hadn't said this..." or "Why didn't I take her to...?" and if you're anything like me, you've felt cruel and terrible for how you treated someone, even if you were trying your best, even if you weren't that cruel. Death is a nasty thing, because the dead can't tell you that you did right by them, or that they forgive you. So, for Pete's sake, leave the girl's confession in peace. You don't know what she's been through. End rant. Basically, just be nice people. This Secret thing isn't here for people to be scolded.
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:iconjepuisadore17:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
YES! Thank you :)
Reply
:iconmysaddelight:
MySadDelight Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
^-^ Mhm
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:iconjepuisadore17:
Jepuisadore17 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013
:)
Reply
:iconkaulitzwolf:
KaulitzWolf Featured By Owner May 21, 2013   Writer
thank you for the comment, it's nice to see someone who has actually dealt with abused animals not just hopping on the blame train.:iconletmehugyoupika1plz::iconletmehugyoupika2plz:

As a friend of the ST says above the girl never harmed the dog, just yelled when she had her anger episodes, but she still blames herself for that. It was her neighbor that poisoned her dog, and other animals in the neighborhood as well.
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:iconmysaddelight:
MySadDelight Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Mhm. Don't mention it. I don't think judging people you've never met so harshly is ever a good idea.
Reply
:iconpyrosaitan1:
Pyrosaitan1 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
I love my miss Jess, I hate calling her a dog or a pet because I would consider that an insult to her, she's more than that to me, she's like family, a brother or a sister, and if anyone were to hurt her, I'd gut them
Reply
:iconlulabys-melody:
Lulabys-Melody Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Student General Artist
I believe that she was there to teach you something. She loved you as her pack and trusted you despite whatever you did to her. And the fact that you regret it shows that now you know you need to do better. Now its your chance to see, other than her, how else does your anger change things? How can you stop it? And why are you so angry? It wont be easy but the ahrdest part, which is facing your faults is done.
The loss of a pet is never easy, and I cant immagine feeling guilty about the time you shared makes it any easier. Youve made your mistakes. Now it is time to correct them. Remember how wrong you were and how much of your anger hurt... that should help remind you to take it easy.

There are anger management tips of all sorts, but excess anger is either badly translated stress or excess energy. A psychologist can help, or anger management classes. If your aggression needs to come out physically a sport can help. It could be something soft like a yoga class to teach you to relax or a martial arrts class to teach you to control it. I hope this means lessons truly learnt for you and that you can take steps forward. It may not be easy to learn, but you will.

That dog has shown you something amazing. Respect her memory all the more for that. I hope to see a better perspn emerge from this.
Much courage to you. May you never loose control and hurt someone again.
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:iconalyssanine:
Alyssanine Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Student General Artist
Because, you know, shaming someone for something they're clearly already ashamed of and guilty for definitely helps! (directed at certain comments here)

So long as she's willing to acknowledge her mistakes and work to resolve them and isn't going to hurt another animal again, a lack of sympathy doesn't accomplish anything but to further perpetuate harm and anger. My sympathies are extended, I can understand that horrible anger that can just leave you feeling so worthless and horrible. Shame from other people has never helped.

Good luck to you, OP. An understanding counselor can go miles, just fyi, knowing that someone will accept and care about you unconditionally.
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:iconxxnibinonekoxx:
xXNibiNoNekoXx Featured By Owner May 18, 2013
A lot of catty comments here it seems...

Good for you. For acknowledging what kind of person you were and what you did was wrong, not everybody is capable of doing such a thing. It's the first baby steps into being who you want to be. I believe in you. <3 You got to prove to her that you can be that person, a better version of your current self.
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:iconsilverrosess:
SilverRosess Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Student Digital Artist
This made me so much more sad than any other secret :'(
Reply
:iconlady-ribbon:
lady-ribbon Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't get an animal if you cannot love it, nor control your anger. That is very cruel to the poor creature who has no words to tell you how they are feeling. I have absolutely no sympathy for people who are cruel to animals.
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:iconfagiselle:
fagiselle Featured By Owner May 18, 2013
I agree...
Sure, this person realises they've done wrong, but I wouldn't forgive myself. Ever.
Reply
:icondexpo:
Dexpo Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Do you think the Secret Teller will ever forgive him/herself? By the sounds of it I don't think so.
Reply
:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Preach it! I agree 100%
Reply
:iconwonnderlandd:
Wonnderlandd Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow...way to change it round and make people seem sorry for you abusing something. Great work :')
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:iconraye89:
Raye89 Featured By Owner May 18, 2013
Do the animal a favor and don't get another one until you CAN control your anger. Whether you mean to or not, beating on an animal is animal abuse, and no animal should have to be subjected to that.

Get therapy, and when you and your therapist think you're ready, then get another dog. Bring that dog to therapy with you and maybe the therapist can teach you positive ways to manage your anger that involves the dog.

I wish you luck.
Reply
:iconryuuto-hakeshima:
Ryuuto-Hakeshima Featured By Owner May 18, 2013
My heart just broke...
Reply
:iconthe4getfulfish:
The4getfulfish Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have certain empathy for you -
My sister has been through (what seems like) the same thing.

She has gone through 3 pups in the last year (or so) - all of which she loved dearly.
because of her certain psychological disorders, she has what we like to call an "impulse-control" issue;
which basically means that no matter the animal, she has a spurt of anger and grabs the nearest one and (sad to say)
beats on it.

But these pups were different. they were her 'pick-of-the-litter', and she did her best to try and control her anger impulse issue. we were proud - I don't think she even once hurt them. But sad to say, something evil was trying to work against her hard work and they all seemed to pass (two pups caught parvo from their mother, who is now a proven immune parvo carrier; and the last we think heart-worm)

but I promised (since she is 18 and has big plans for her life) that when she moves out and finds a place that allows pets, I will go out and buy her a female kitten. She is excited with life again. and is doing so much better with my little Pom/rat terrier - my fathers Australian shep/Akita mix - and my sisters Boxer/pit mix. :Happybounce:

She is learning to get better one step at a time and I hope you learn to cope and get better soon, too, my friend.
:hug: :huggle: :heart:
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:iconslshies:
slshies Featured By Owner May 18, 2013
You hurt your dog? Im sorry for you and (if it was your dog) your dog. Lets hope you get better. :tighthug:
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:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't feel any sympathy for those who abuse an animal. I pray that she gets better before she gets another pet or even worse kills an animal.
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:icondork-knight:
Dork-Knight Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You don't know this person. They may have a disability or be diseased. Diseases which cause people bitterness to everyone exists.
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:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm "bitter". That doesn't mean I'm going to beat everything I see and abuse animals. These people are sick in the head, and maybe just maybe when they hurt others and/or animals, they should have it done to them. See how they like it.
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:iconmojoliazon:
MojoLiazon Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Professional General Artist
Hey, you should possibly look into things that cause people to be sick in the head. I think you might develop some sympathy. You too can become a cruel abuser... All it takes is a little bit of brain damage in the right area, from poisoning, a blow, an illness... Dork Knight is right. Those who are judging are just not seeing the bigger picture of reality. There is every chance this abusive person, who clearly regrets whatever they did, was just like you. Lots of abusers started out great people, sh*t happened, their lives took a nightmare turn that many of them never recover from. That can happen to you.
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:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've had things happen to me which would make people feel sick. I'm not running around abusing people or animals. It's complete bullshit that things can take a "nightmare" turn and can cause you to be like this. At the end of the day, some brain conditions and/or trauma and some types of special needs can cause this aggression, but blaming it on past events and mental health is complete bull shit in my eyes.
Reply
:iconmojoliazon:
MojoLiazon Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Professional General Artist
I think you need to re-read what I wrote. You don't seem to have understood it.
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:iconmojoliazon:
MojoLiazon Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Professional General Artist
I didn't say life taking a nightmare turn makes everyone into an abuser. No, what I said is not bullshit. It's proven scientifically.  

You first disagree with me, then agree with me, then disagree with me again. Not much point responding to that.
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:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Anyways this post was over a month ago, I cannot be fucked
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconshadowstar09:
ShadowStar09 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
I'm a friend of the secret teller and she was physically and mentally abused by her father growing up. She has mental disabilities and suffers from depression. She cant help but have random spurts of anger sometimes, even on medication.

For the record she never hit the dog, she loved her too much. When she got angry at her animals she would just yell at them. She LOVES her pets and ever since her dog died she has gone into an even deeper depression. She already regrets what she did, she wont ever forgive herself. Even though she just yelled at her.
Imagine what its like to love your animal, find out that it got poisoned by your neighbor because they were aiming at poisoning her other friends dog. Fight tooth and nail to get her better, THEN find out that your beloved pet got Addison Disease and Kidney disease from the poisoning then dies in your arms the night you get them back. And go through it alone.

I know I can't.

She had more of a connection with that dog than she did with her own parents. That dog went everywhere with her, EVERYWHERE. She was her best friend.

So next time you go off and say "they should have it done to them. See how they like it." Maybe you should THINK that MAYBE that person did have that happen to them already.
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:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"I'm a friend of the secret teller and she was physically and mentally abused by her father growing up. She has mental disabilities and suffers from depression. She cant help but have random spurts of anger sometimes, even on medication."
Same here, well not by may father but another. I don't take my anger out of anyone, it's complete bullshit to blame your actions on your past. Being mentally "disabled" is jack shit to how you act majority.
Yes, my cat was killed by rat poison so I know what's like to lose a pet. And maybe the neighbor had enough of animal in their yard, you don't know his story either.

At the end of the day, no dog or animal should be used in anyway to have anger vented on them, it's unfair. That animal cannot shout back, fight back or anything like that. Well it could fight back but rick being beaten or killed/put down. I've been through shit, I've had pets, I've had problems, but I would never once scream at my dog or cat, or anything like that. If you have a pet that's your responsibility.
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:iconkeychain-xiii:
keychain-XIII Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
^"I've had problems, but I would never once scream at my dog or cat, or anything like that. If you have a pet, that's your responsibility"

One, I have to say you remind me of the people who treat animals better than human beings, which I find stupid because human beings are mammals, therefore animals as well, and we are the dominant race of the planet. I agree, other animals can be treated better, but you sound like you wouldn'T treat a human with as much respect as a pet.
Second, you had problems? This person has a mental dissorder, and you're bitching about yourself having "problems"? If you have no sympathy for people like this, no matter the circumstance, why the hell are you here? Why not leave this person alone and have her get her own help and support, and instead go fix your fucking "problems"
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:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"Second, you had problems? This person has a mental dissorder, and you're bitching about yourself having "problems"? If you have no sympathy for people like this, no matter the circumstance, why the hell are you here? Why not leave this person alone and have her get her own help and support, and instead go fix your fucking "problems""
When did I state what my problems were? I was saying I've been through the same shit but I'm different. Mental disorder? having borderline personalities... I'm not bitching at that. The fact that everyone hides behind them as excuses. If we were not all diagnosed then there would be nothing to hide behind. Think of it like that?
It's ironic when everyone is quick to say "Don't judge them you don't know this that or the other" then types out a paragraph assuming about another person. Am I the only one that thinks that's ironic? yes? Ah ok.
Funny thing is you assume that i'm one of those that treat animals with more respect. That's quickly judging me, no? Ha.
Anywho, what was I stating.
"This person has a mental dissorder"
Thing is (just give me a second to lol) you know neither of what "metal disabilities" I have either, then maybe just maybe, I do understand and maybe it's just my opinion and my experience of these that has led me to think that having a mental disorder doesn't have to effect your life and anger as full as other people make it out to be like. Medication and Therapy, well even if they both so jackshit. So yes. Simply just making a connection of, "she's got this, she' been through that which is similar to me" and that's making me bitching about my problems? Right-o.
And if I give animals more respect than human beings, then that's my own issues, maybe it's my mental disorders that have made me so bitter and twisted towards the human race, maybe it's my past, who knows?
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(1 Reply)
:iconshadowstar09:
ShadowStar09 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
She has Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a real mental handicap linked to random bouts of anger and rage. So don't give me that "Being mentally "disabled" is jack shit" bull. Like I previously said, even meds don't always help.

Their story? Their story is that they hate animals. They said so themselves in the police report. Her dog never barked or went out of the yard. The guy who poisoned her dog has been linked to other pet poisonings in the area and when asked about why he poisoned her dog he said "Well, I was really aiming at her friends Pit Bull, but I would of gotten to her bitch eventually. I hate the breed" Nice guy, huh? Her dog wasn't even a pit bull. She was a hound mix.
Before you go off and say "well how do you know?", its because I was there, I'm her room mate. I left work as soon as she called and said that her dog just died in her arms.

As for her anger problems. That dog was helping her control her anger. Animals are good at that sort of thing you know. Honestly, before all this happened, she hadn't had a incident revolving around anger in 2-3 months, which is a record for her. She has actually asked me to take care of her cats for her until she starts getting back on her feet because she doesn't want to hurt them. We have the same working schedule and tend to stay at home about the same time's during the day.
She is such a horrible person isn't she? Asking her friend to take care of her remaining pets so she wont yell at them from the crap she is going through now.

While I agree that no animal should be mistreated, I would much rather see someone yell at their dog than beat on it.
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:iconkaulitzwolf:
KaulitzWolf Featured By Owner May 21, 2013   Writer
I hope your friend is doing a little better, losing a pet in any way is rough, but this is the worst. Many people yell at their pets when they act "naughty" so she shouldn't blame herself for that. She was there when her dog needed her most, and that means more to an animal than any time in the past that it has gotten in trouble. It seems as though she is really trying to be a good owner too so she really shouldn't beat herself up over it. If she needs to talk my inbox is open :iconmailboxplz:
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:iconteatimetrance:
TeaTimeTrance Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"She has Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a real mental handicap linked to random bouts of anger and rage. So don't give me that "Being mentally "disabled" is jack shit" bull. Like I previously said, even meds don't always help. "
Yes because It's not like I have borderline personality disorder, or anything thing like that. No of course not. It's not like I'm being treated for several things, hm, no, you assume I'm not. So I kinda do think the "mental disability" thing is crap to me, as I'm managing to live a fairly normal life between issues. You assumed because clearly no one else can "understand" these "disabilities".

"She is such a horrible person isn't she? Asking her friend to take care of her remaining pets so she wont yell at them from the crap she is going through now."
Me just stating if you cannot look after pets, you shouldn't have them makes her a bad person? No. What would, is if she was abusing them. Which I also said earlier, if you abuse the animal you shouldn't have them. Clearly if she was just "yelling" and not beating the poor dog, then clearly that doesn't apply to her, no?
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:iconsam-a-licious:
sam-a-licious Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
What the hell is wrong with your neighbours. If they do not get jail time they should at the very least get fined, sued, and evicted from the area. You stated that they have committed this crime multiple times and have also confessed. If I were in your friends situation I probably would have faced assault charges after that.

Make sure you give your friend lots of hugs and offer to sit down with her so that she can let her emotions out and rant. If she holds it all in her condition may get worse.
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