SuicideTears in my eyes
As I look down
There's a long way down from here
I know it
I see it
Exactly as I know, I have no reason not to do it
Because no one will mind if I'm gone
Because no one cares
I'm trapped in this life
With my tattered soul
From red eyes of mine
A result of all my cries of pain
They fall down
The same long way down, as I'm going to fall
To hit the ground
I throw my head back
And let out a hysterical, manic, heartbreaking laugh
Oh, sweet ending
How I've longed for you
How I've longed for you to break my chains
My chains that hold me down here
How long I've longed for you to destroy the cage
The cage that holds me trapped
You have no idea of how long I've waited for you
I take a step
And yet another
I look down again
The grin still on my face
I close my eyes
As I lean forward
Let the gravity drag me down
The world flies around me
As I'm nearing the ground
Eyes still closed
Smile still on my face
There's no way back
It's the 'Point Of No Return'
The PainI'm in pain...
The pain that comes with love...
But no... not the good type of pain...
The kind of pain...
That just makes you feel...
As if something left...
And might never come back...
The kind of pain that
Resonates through your heart
For seemingly days on end...
No matter when it started...
I feel like a liar
And a cheat...
I don't deserve anything...
Not even this pain...
Because this pain...
It comes on the tail end
Of what used to be happiness...
But now I'm butchered...
One part of my heart...
Taken out without question...
Losing the will to live...
But I have to stay...
Suffer in the legacy of pain
That I've created in my past...
I can't let anyone else down
The way I have...
But I knew this would happen...
I knew I would cause
Some sort of pain or strife...
Something to hurt you...
And something that would hurt me
Twice as much...
But you didn't listen...
Now I'm suffering here in pain...
Each bubble seeps through my mouth
as they lift themselves
breaking free of binding air.
I am sinking deeper
into the shadow of the sea.
Eyes half alive, as they
lift themselves towards untouchable sky.
Glistening light touches once more
and dances on the water.
Beams of the sun wander through,
but I can not reach their abundant light.
This invisible anchor weighs
down on my soul restlessly.
I am lost...
hope has vanished...
faith whispers quietly, softly...
Suddenly an awakening touch
grabs hold of my hand.
Light becomes grander, my soul
lifts towards the surface.
I feel a gust of air,
I breathe in heavily.
Looking up I see my beholder.
My hand clamped in theirs,
like a clam holding
its beloved pearl...
I look into the eyes
of my savior and I see
the beacon of light within them...
Our stares collide as time caresses
us slowly with patience.
You look at me and I know.
You understand my fears,
my hopes, secrets untold.
Understanding yours are hard to unfold.
I am grasping, but you
Wrapped all around your being
Eyes around every corner
All of them unseeing
Shouts and hollers and bloody screams
Your insides they rip and tear
To live a life of "follow your dreams"
When you're followed by your nightmares
And all you find that you can read
Are those romantic tragedies
And at every turn all you can see
Are whispers of black histories
Promises of forever
Frozen on our lips
Lies of life together
When a common resolve slips
And all the stories you have told
How they kept me well
To the Devil your souls now been sold
So drag me down to Hell.
I'm So Far Away From Hope
I'm So Far Away From Hope
Society told me the world is black and white
I didn't want to believe it
Because I want something more than a narrow minded life
I need something different
Feeling as if I was truly alone in this world
It's hard to keep believing
Feeling as if I no longer could move forward
It's difficult to keep breathing
I'm stuck between the realms of discrimination and belief
I had to lock away my tears in a prison
For I am the only one who can keep my resolve safe
But I'm such a fragile person
I knew I couldn't take any of it / I knew everyone is so swift with judgment
I knew I would fall to the hatred / I knew everyone's morals are blinded
Maybe it is meant
To be like this from beginning to end
To endure without crying
To practice the art of suffering
I wanted to find change
But I'm not strong enough for this pain
The hollowed promises won't be found
Because I was taught to despise myself
I was told that there was nothing here for me
I failed right
Alone in suffering.
Alone in my pain.
Alone when I need friends.
Alone when I need them most.
Because she has gone.
My best friend.
We wait in the shadows,
Cunning and quick.
Enticing our meals,
Smooth and slick.
They fall into our arms,
Begging for more,
Convinced by our charms.
Alas, death is in store.
The sweetest smell,
Calls to us,
We cannot refuse,
To feast on their blood.
They weaken and weaken,
Becoming oh so thin.
Their heart's rhythmic beating,
Sounding of tin.
The victim frail,
Gasping for breath.
Although we never fail,
To bring a gentle death.
Era Of Silence
Era Of Silence
Cascading glares swim around my whole body
Searching for some kind of flaw that I might have
But they don't realize that my life is the problem entirely
I can hardly keep on hiding all of the imperfections I secretly grasp
Denial is simple / If you say so
Pretending is impossible / I can't let you know
So I no longer speak for myself
No, not anymore
I feel that I deserve this hell
My pure torture
I'm just too snared by the knives in my back
No one wanted to accept me for who I really was
That's why I had no choice but to put up this wounded act
But I guess that's what the feeling of losing everybody does
Guilt is truly consuming / If you succumb to it
Sympathy is harshly damaging / The infliction is endless
I always put myself last
But first to feel the carnage
I let peace slip through my hands
I hate being so goddamn selfless
I hold my head up high toward the sky
So the tears will eventually dr