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Secret. 13261 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 13261 by DeviantArtSecret
The Secret Teller would like to thank ~UmbraDeNoapte-Stock for the stock image.

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Submitted by - DAS Helper 5

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:iconjtcheney:
jtcheney Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You need to be open and honest with your husband. He is your other half, and deserves your honesty and needs to trust you in all things.
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:iconfizzymoth:
fizzymoth Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:(
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:icontmntleolei03:
TMNTLeoLei03 Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, and if you can't conceive, which is the idea I'm getting now, definitely tell your husband. That's something you'll both need to work out on your own. Stay strong, you can do it :)
Reply
:icontmntleolei03:
TMNTLeoLei03 Featured By Owner May 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Tell your husband. At least, start with him. If you can't be honest with him, things will never ultimately fully work out. Just tell him :) He might not accept it at first, but if he truly loves you, he'll have to accept it. And also, make sure you both are willing to compromise. Don't be so "selfish" that you can't ever accept what he wants, but make sure you're firm in what you want that you're willing to push for it. If you don't mind having children, and he really wants them, maybe you should go for it. Also, if you really just don't want children, and he would like to have children, he'll probably have to compromise. Just do what you need to do. Best of luck :)
Reply
:icondhxjcrd:
dhxjcrd Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
Wow... I feel sad now. I'm sorry. It's pretty bad to not be able to have children, if that's what you want. Maybe adopt if it's that bad? I don't really know what else to say.
Reply
:iconnana-infinity:
nana-infinity Featured By Owner May 15, 2013
Man, you don't have to make up escuses for this. It's an option, and no one can judge you because you think this way. No one is obligated to have children anyway.
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:iconmitzusojaki:
MitzuSojaki Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's not everyone who needs children. But you need to be honest with your husband - because for many it's quite as natural as breathing. If you are not ready, or don't want children at all, he need to know. Sooner or later he will found out anyway.
But I don't think it's something to discuss with family, close or not. It's between you and him. But mostly about you. It's your body. And it's a whole new person to share your life with. Just relax and don't hesitate.
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:icongrj-tardis:
grj-tardis Featured By Owner May 14, 2013
i am sure i will get shot down for this, but kids seem like a whopping annoyance to me. perhaps its best to enjoy life with out them (for some of us at least).
Reply
:iconremiroquai:
RemiroQuai Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I'll shield ya. I totally agree with you. :huggle:
There is no harm in not wanting children...
Reply
:iconjackzragdoll13:
JackzRagdoll13 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Student General Artist
I'm not sure if this secret is about the secret teller not wanting to have kids, or telling herself she never wanted children to cope with the disappointment, emotional stress and pain she is enduring from being unable to conceive.

Regardless, that is a painful situation. Here's to solace, in whatever form it comes. :heart:
Reply
:iconsalty-dreams:
salty-dreams Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
if it's about you can't having kids...ufff, then you will need all the patience in the world, your husbands support (it seems as if YOU are the support here) and no excuses for your family, it is your cross to carry, not theirs...good luck to you either way the secret is
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:iconsalty-dreams:
salty-dreams Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
if you do not want kids then be honest, you might lose him, but look at it this way, if you do lose him he was never right for you. if you don't want kids it is your life, please don't be like some mothers and give birth to a child that will sooner or later find out you did not want it. first of all, be honest to your husband, he deserves to know the truth, this issue is way to important to leave it just a secret, it is your life and his life and possibly another life. just spit it out, don't think it over
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:iconhsals:
hsals Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Much love to you whoever you are x
Reply
:iconnagem1891:
Nagem1891 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
If you told your hubby you stopped your BC but still take it...shame on you. Be honest with everyone, you don't want kids, fine. Don't string everyone along and when they do finally find out they will get mad and possibly leave you.
Reply
:iconlunasrl1:
lunasrl1 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Where did you assume they "can't" have children? To me it just seems they simply don't want children. I don't see see where she implies she can't have children. She simply says she never wanted children.

Now it COULD be she can't have children, and it COULD be she can and doesn't want them...and if it's the latter she could doing exactly as Nagem1891 is assuming~ Or not, we don't know the situation~

All we DO know is that she's lying to her family and husband in some manner. She doesn't want kids and won't tell them that.
Reply
:icontheholesinhershoes:
TheHolesInHerShoes Featured By Owner May 14, 2013
Each statement is over a background that says "lies" dozens of times. That implies that each statement is a lie, am I correct? Even if that isn't the case, if your friend came up to you and said "I tell myself that I never wanted children..." would you not be able to deduce from that that it isn't how she actually feels?

You are right, it could be either way. But you are also right in the fact that we don't know the situation. How is it fair to 'shame' someone based on your assumptions alone before weighing out the fact that there might be another side of the story, or perhaps you misinterpreted the message entirely?
Reply
:iconlunasrl1:
lunasrl1 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That does make sense~ I can certainly see how that could be the intended interpretation, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was the case. As for whether or not that'd be my deduction, well, it would depend on their individual situations. I never really wanted to have my own kids for a while until I got with my fiance and decided that I absolutely wanted children and to have a family with him~ so as such, if I knew my friend and knew they never wanted kids, I could figure maybe they might be reconsidering based upon new events and who they're with. But that's getting specific and technical and over all isn't necessary...

So if I could throw that out the window and answer your question: Yeah, I could deduce that...but personally, in that situation friend or stranger, I'd honestly think I wouldn't know what to think. I've met too many people of differing natures, life styles, and views to really let myself think that...because more often than not my assumptions were wrong. That's just me personally, though, and I'm a weird individual. Ask anyone else with intelligence and they'd agree with you, I'm certain, because in all honesty it is still a logical assumption.

And yes, you're right in that we shouldn't shame anyone when we don't know the situation~ She should still be honest and tell the truth, whether it be she can't have or doesn't want kids, but it can be hard to be honest about that sort of thing...and painful...

Sorry I rambled, by the way. I pour my thoughts out as I type sometimes lol.
Reply
:icontheholesinhershoes:
TheHolesInHerShoes Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
It's no problem at all. Thank you for the thought out response. :) it's very refreshing.
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:iconlunasrl1:
lunasrl1 Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, that's good to hear~ :)
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:iconnagem1891:
Nagem1891 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
where in the secret did it say "I cannot physically have a child"? She stated she doesn't want kids, so my "assumption" looks more correct than yours. Sure she may not be able to, like you think, but the bottom line is that she is lying to her family and husband.
Reply
:iconlunasrl1:
lunasrl1 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Was that in response to TheHoleInHerShoes because I was responding to her with this, I just accidentally had it as a reply under you instead of directly under her~

if it was to me, then understand that I never said she can't have kids and that was never my assumption. I said it was a possibility that was her meaning and I said it was a possibility she simply didn't want kids, as you believe~

Personally I think the latter. She's capable of having them, she just doesn't want kids and is too afraid to admit it. (Which is understandable...not right to continue lying, but it's a scary thing to let down your husband and family like that :/ )

But yeah, until she explains herself we won't know who's right or wrong~ Not that I mind not knowing, I just hope she figures things out and tells the truth.
Reply
:iconnagem1891:
Nagem1891 Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I must have hit the wrong reply button, oops....but yeah it was TheHoleInHerShoes I was replying to.

It's wrong to assume one thing and then ignore any other possibility when we really have nothing to go on that leans one way or the other.
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:iconlunasrl1:
lunasrl1 Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah okay~

Yeah, I agree~~
Reply
:icondhxjcrd:
dhxjcrd Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
ST said that she told her husband that "this is normal, it takes time". So they've tried to have children, but can't. She tells herself she didn't want to have children, which is a lie, so she did want to have children. So I don't think it's BC that's the problem.
Reply
:iconnagem1891:
Nagem1891 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Like I said, until the OP herself comes on here to spell it out for us, we are all going to fight over whether it's because she physically cannot have kids or that she really does not want them and continues her BC
Reply
:icontheholesinhershoes:
TheHolesInHerShoes Featured By Owner May 15, 2013
I can just as easily ask you where in the secret did it say "I told my hubby I stopped taking my BC, but I still do.", but id start repeating myself from earlier. Please refer to my reply on lunsrl1's comment. Have a nice day.
Reply
:iconnagem1891:
Nagem1891 Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I would not think she would willingly allow herself to be pregnant if she did not want kids, lot's of women lie and continue on their BC while telling their husbands they are off it and the conception is just taking a long time and, as she said, is normal.

So unless OP wants to reveal who they are and fully explain what they are doing, you can go eff off and I will stop talking to you
Reply
:icontheholesinhershoes:
TheHolesInHerShoes Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
What I meant is that I think she did in fact want kids, but she's telling herself she does not. Hence the lie.
But yeah, that's probably for the best. I don't like challenging people to a battle of wits if my opponent is unarmed. Again, have a nice day.
Reply
:iconlunasrl1:
lunasrl1 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
that was in response to TheHoleInHerShoes btw, sorry~
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:icontheholesinhershoes:
TheHolesInHerShoes Featured By Owner May 14, 2013
Where on earth did you conjure up that assumption from? This person can't [i]have[/i] children. Shame on you for jumping to conclusions and accusing someone of being selfish when you yourself didn't take the time to actually understand their message.
Reply
:iconnagem1891:
Nagem1891 Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
can I hug you? *iconhugplz*
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:iconxhilla:
xhilla Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
it isn't stated anywhere that she /can't/ have children she just doesn't wish for any.
Reply
:iconaiyukilove7:
Aiyukilove7 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013
Actually actively trying to have a child will make it worse. Why else are there unexpected pregnancies? Because they are focusing more on the act of being intimate than making new life. So if you really want kids, take a break. The stress is being counterproductive to making a baby.
Reply
:iconfiliaflammae:
FiliaFlammae Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oof... Please accept my deepest condolences. I can only imagine how much this aches.

But it's not the end of the line. If you enjoy sex, by all means continue, but try to think of it as fun for its own sake and to connect you two, not as a means to an end. In the meantime, when/if you get tired of waiting, you have options:
1. Artificial fertilization, to give the child the traits of one or both of you, assuming no genetic complications.
2. Adoption, to give another child a loving home.

I wish you happiness and the best of luck. :heart:
Reply
:iconcheesemango:
CheeseMango Featured By Owner May 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's not that she can't HAVE children, she doesn't WANT children...
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:iconfiliaflammae:
FiliaFlammae Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If I misinterpreted this, I apologize, but here's how I interpret it. She tells three lies. One is to her family, one is to her husband (which in tone seems to imply that they ARE trying for kids), and the third is to herself. I got the impression that she's trying to convince herself that she'd be okay with not having kids, because she truly does desire them and her inability to conceive has only hurt her, so she's trying to ease the pain by changing how she feels about it.
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:iconglassmagnolia:
glassmagnolia Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist
You're not obligated to have kids. However, if something else is the problem...just adopt. There's someone out there that needs a mom.
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:iconearthy-rah:
earthy-rah Featured By Owner May 13, 2013   Writer
Do not put yourself through a pregnancy if you don't want children. For some women, being pregnant is fine and dandy. Other just do not want to pregnant and do not want children. Do not have babies you aren't ready or simply do not want to. If other's are pressuring you, they need to back off. It's not their place to tell you when you're ready to go through nine months of sore ankles and baby weight if you don't want to. :/
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:iconenchantingpurity:
EnchantingPurity Featured By Owner May 13, 2013
You should tell the truth or in the end everything will collapse over the lies you told. I know, it takes courage, but you really should tell them.
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:iconlinkinanneww:
LinkinAnneww Featured By Owner May 13, 2013
^ This.
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:iconenchantingpurity:
EnchantingPurity Featured By Owner May 13, 2013
;)
Reply
:iconxxnibinonekoxx:
xXNibiNoNekoXx Featured By Owner May 13, 2013
I've told everybody I don't want kids, simply just because I don't want to. I don't need an excuse for them, I just need to be honest with myself.
Reply
:icongrj-tardis:
grj-tardis Featured By Owner May 14, 2013
good for you. i am the same way.
Reply
:iconxxnibinonekoxx:
xXNibiNoNekoXx Featured By Owner May 15, 2013
Rock on! :3
Reply
:iconblazefirewolf1:
BlazeFireWolf1 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Then don't let them boss you around,and don't feel obligated to have children. It isn't their decision to make. If you do have kids,they will run and dictate your entire life. Want to party?Nah,gotta watch the kids.Wanna see a movie?Nah,ain't child friendly.Wanna watch law and order?Sorry,watching Yo Gabba Gabba with my kids.
Long story short,if you don't want children don't have them.
Reply
:iconrougecerberus:
RougeCerberus Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i dont think that it. i think they cant have kids, so they just tell themselves "i never wanted any anyway".
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:iconblazefirewolf1:
BlazeFireWolf1 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh okay, that makes much more sense.
Reply
:iconkaulitzwolf:
KaulitzWolf Featured By Owner May 13, 2013   Writer
:iconasunahugplz:
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:iconzombiequeen368:
ZombieQueen368 Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Student Filmographer
:iconsadperryplz:
Reply
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