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April 28, 2013
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Secret. 13019 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 13019 by DeviantArtSecret
Send your secret to DeviantArtSecret@gmail.com

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Submitted by - DAS Helper 3

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:iconadria2006:
Adria2006 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A lot of it has do do with the actual age also I think. For example: My husband is 10 years older then me, I was 19 when I met him and he was 29, no one thought anything of it. But sometimes I start thinking that maybe it is kind of weird since when he was 18 I was only 8. I guarantee people would have talked then.
Reply
:iconmarajayne95:
MaraJayne95 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
my parents are 9 years apart. there is nothing wrong with large age gaps in relationships, so long as the feelings are true. :) good luck to you both. i believe you'll overcome this hardship and all the ones to come. stay strong, stay true :heart:
Reply
:iconthevampireslavequeen:
My boyfriend is 14 years olders then me? Is it hard sometimes? Yes but love is an emotion and not bound by age!
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:iconpuppiesandcats:
Puppiesandcats Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
honey love is love and for one i support your love
Reply
:iconbakasyrup:
Bakasyrup Featured By Owner May 3, 2013
Love is love, no matter age..!!
But if it's HIM that makes you cry, you should probably think twice...
Reply
:iconkitsune-sama98:
kitsune-sama98 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
this describes what i've been doing for 7 months
Reply
:iconechai-mae-art:
echai-mae-art Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
maybe u' re right!
i supposed its about one of ur parent u're talking about, his just worried about u u know parents wants whats best for their children but if u dont try and take the risk u'll never know!
hope u're making the right decision
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:iconmokalynn:
Mokalynn Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
I know exactly how this person feels.
Reply
:iconzombie21112:
zombie21112 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Really cruel! I understand, he is older than me too... mirror images can never be together, because there seems to be a glass between them... thats why they are just mirror images...
Reply
:iconjewelmistic:
JewelMistic Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmm age difference is quite a nit picky isn't it? It really depends on the age itself.
On no way would I agree with for example a 16 year old to date someone way much older then him/her. I used to believe however that the older you get, the less the age difference would matter, as long as it wouldn't be like the example I just set up. I am unsure on that matter right now...mainly cause I just confuse myself sometimes.
I'm 23 and my hubby-to-be is way older then me. I may be young, but I feel happy and comfortable with this relationship and so does he.
It's though sometimes, but every kind of relationship has their own set of problems. :) If it's true love, you'll get through it no matter what. If it's not, then it's simply not meant to be. Doesn't mean the world is ending, it means that life has something in store for you.
People might seem to be against it, but mostly it's because they worry for you and wish you to be safe.
I hope I am making sense right now...
Reply
:iconwolffang1995hyano:
Wolffang1995Hyano Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013   Traditional Artist
i'm only 3 or 4 or 5 years apart from my bf and we're hoping to get married.I'm keeping him a secret from the parentals and have for a year and it'll be going on two years in october...he lights up my heart and my life and i really don't wanna lose him.
Reply
:iconthe-lost-hope:
The-Lost-Hope Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student General Artist
That really depends on you two and your age difference and whether you are over 18 or not. If you are over 18 then it really is your choice. But please think about if this is really what you want or not.
Reply
:iconthelordofallreturn:
ThelordofallReturn Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
depends if you are 18, you have much to learn about true love, give it some time, if you are at least 18, then go for it i guess..
Reply
:iconemoturtlefrk:
emoturtlefrk Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think it's cruel fate puts our soul mate on earth so many years before or after us.
It's just horrible.
Reply
:iconrokkerangel:
RokkerAngel Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know how you feel exactly. It is actually what i am going through right now...
Reply
:iconpseudonymousrmy:
PseudonymousRMY Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I know the feeling, I'm like that, I like older men, but people always want to keep them away from me and me away from then, even if is nothing and just a simple friendship, I hate it.
The thing is the I have started to just ignore them the more I can
Reply
:iconnewnotebook:
newnotebook Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's always entertaining to read age-gap comments that aren't on age-gap forums.
I've been living with my boyfriend for about five years. He is 17-years my senior. We are just like every other couple.
I say if it's legal and it's healthy, then it's great. :)

Best of luck.
Reply
:iconthousandcookie:
ThousandCookie Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013   Digital Artist
"It's always entertaining to read age-gap comments that aren't on age-gap forums."

How so? And age-gap forums are new to me; then again, I've never even considered that there might be one knocking around somewhere. You never look, you never know. :lol:


ST: Agreed with this lady. Legal and healthy. This is very general advice given how vague the secret is, but if you're underage or still haven't lived independently of your family yet, there's probably a reason people are baulking at the idea of you being with someone older.
Reply
:iconnewnotebook:
newnotebook Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
People are much more judgmental outside the forums, because most people posting aren't in AGRs.
I've been in a 17-year gap relationship for over five years. We're so... well, normal. :)
Reply
:iconphotomaker99:
PhotoMaker99 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
My friend's girlfriend is 20, while my friend's only 14...
I'm worried about her, because her girlfriend takes drugs and hangs out with bad people. They're separated right now, but she wants to come to our town and live here...
Reply
:iconsora96:
sora96 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
As long as it ain't illegal, more power to ya folks. Kids grow up to fast these days and wined up ruining their life's as well as making things harder for the good ones. :disbelief:
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:iconminimjush:
Minimjush Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist
My boyfriend is 6 years older than me :3 (he's 20 and i'm 14)
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:iconzmote:
zmote Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Ain't that illegal?
Reply
:iconminimjush:
Minimjush Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist
As long as we do not have sex it's ok i think :3
Reply
:iconzmote:
zmote Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I guess you could consider that OK in the western culture.

Although reality works very different, once those emotions flow you'll loose all control over yourself, especially in the puberty phase were those hormons burst out like some run over fire hydrant, but that discussion would be out of scope here. It's far more beneficial if you build up solid friendships and aim for high education rather than waste your time with something that will only hurt you(statistically speaking, relationships below 17-18 don't endure really).

Life has so much more meaning to it if we strive for the happiness of all rather than to focus only on the happiness of ourselves. In this respect "love" is something very selfish. But I guess that is something everyone has to decide for themselves.
Reply
:iconminimjush:
Minimjush Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist
Yeah i guess i see your point there buddy. But that doesnt mean that im gonna stop wasting my time with him. :3
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:iconmaple-historian-avi:
Maple-Historian-Avi Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Writer
at 14. YES 14 is to young to know LOVE, to naive. but 6 years is not to many, I'm 19(almost 20) and my girlfriend is 7 years older than me, 14 tho is FAR too young.
Reply
:iconminimjush:
Minimjush Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist
I'm not too young to know love! I am too young to know sex maybe, but there's a difference between love and lust. And i LOVE him, with all of my mind, heart and soul. You don't know anything about me and you can't say if i am too young to love someone. That, i dare say, is kiiinda individual.
Reply
:iconmaple-historian-avi:
Maple-Historian-Avi Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Student Writer
Why i see your point, and i already knew, Love, and Lust. are not the same things, You are the one who just immaturely typed the word 'love' in all Capitals, as if to try and make it sound more defined, when you could have simply used Bold print, that looks nicer, or even only Capitalized the First letter. to make it stand out. No i don't know you, but your wrong, you are the one that has no right, Telling someone they can not say or think something is close minded and arrogant. and i dare say you just used 'kinda' instead of 'kind of' and added two extra 'i's. If i were to judge off your comment alone, i would say your Arrogant, Young, and too immature to know anything about love, or any other mature matters.
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:iconminimjush:
Minimjush Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist
ok i actually started laughing here :3

but ok, let me crrect myself: you can say or think whatever you want, but that doesn't mean that youre right when you say it. <3
i used caps in LOVE simply because i have no idea how to make that bold print or whatever, and i often use "kinda" and "cuz" and "'kay" and "gonna" and "tho", i dunno why really, and the iii thing, well it's just something i do sometimes :3 it's like a bad habit or whatever.

(also: you wrote "your" instead of "you're" and you don't seem to know the difference between "." and "," <3<3<3 )
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:iconmaple-historian-avi:
Maple-Historian-Avi Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Student Writer
sure, enjoy your mockery.

well you're the one making the mistakes, and you will be mocked by people who are smarter, and who know better. one day when you realize how incredibly offal your Typing is, i hope your have not done too much damage to your brain, -as you are every time you type such a way- and can stop your habits, or correct them; Habits are bad for your brain anyway.

(first, "Your" was the spell check on my phone. second, yes my punctuation is not perfect, but yours is shameful. so may she who lives in a glass house not throw stones.)
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:iconminimjush:
Minimjush Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist
i like how this conversation started with us arguing about underage relationships, but now is about typing habits. :333

anyway, i don't like fighting. so i'll admit that you're right on some points (but i still consider myself right on most of theem), and i'm sorry for being not so nice to you. Pardon.

Also, i was going to end this reply with a "have a good day, miss..." so i checked yer profile page to see what your name is, and i read you deviant ID, and you seem to be kinda cool. (honestly, i am not saying this just to please you)So i really hope you accept my apology. :3 (seriously, you make top hats? that's more or less my dream. i want to be the mad hatter so bad.)

Have a good day, miss Payne. (or Viper, if you prefer that)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconzmote:
zmote Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
That's what I kinda meant. I mean from 18 up you're "grown up", well at least have a sense of serious responsiblites, you could "handle" such a relation, but with 14... and it is as far as I know illegal, I mean by law.
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:iconmaple-historian-avi:
Maple-Historian-Avi Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Writer
well in Japan its legal... along with a few other countries, and some places in the world 15 is legal, but there has to be parental approval, in the USA this guy could be an A class number one winner and go to prison for dating a 16 year old. so as all laws it is flawed but its for there own good.
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:iconzmote:
zmote Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Yeah here in Switzerland it's similar, if you are underage, you can have a maximal age difference of three years.
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:iconmaple-historian-avi:
Maple-Historian-Avi Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Writer
I have learned something new today. You know something? in Mexico the age of consent for sex is 12, and Japan's is 13. In Canada the Consent age is 16, but person(s) age 14, and 15 can consent to sex with someone up to 5 years of age under. but the Legal age in The republic of Ireland is 17. and only teens of 15 can decide if they want to have sex with women one 3 or less years older than they are. Ireland is the only government to use Child, and adult psychology, and testing to make there laws, and the only exceptions are -Emancipation, and Parental consent for the age of 14. and no mater what arguments have ever been made they Solidly inforce them, and People who break Said law serv Time in Prison, and are ban from living near schools, or participating in any community center, or volunteer center that children will regularly be at. and the Government there actually dose there job and keeps track of them. Unlike in the USA where 'IT is against their Rights to track them'... Wow, i think i just made my self hate the USA a little more...
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:iconzmote:
zmote Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Student Digital Artist
That age will drop even further as long as we try to treat the symptom rather than the cause.

It's a complicated matter indeed, I guess in the USA it comes down to "How much freedom am I ready to sacrifice to feel secure?", because it may seem reasonable to track down said persons, but that "excuse" could be misused by the governement to track people of different profiles, too. And I think at that point it gets really dangerous for the people as the governement steers more towards dicatorship with the excuse to "establish security".

I think you have a good comparison with your health for this situation. You can treat an illness with medicaments, and as the number of illnesses increases, you will automatically have an increased number of medicines, too. But if you'd take care of your body and live healthy to begin with, you wouldn't need those medicaments in the first place.

It's like that with the law. The laws increase with the increasing amount and variety of crimes, but if a society would behave properly in the first place, those many laws wouldn't be needed to begin with, too. With all the pornography and sexual content that is all over the place, be it for advertising, in movies, through fashion or on websites, it's not surprising that the age of the people who have sexual intercourse is dropping continously, and with it the amount of sexual crimes comitted.

Some of these states may have found a temporary solution to this problem, but on the long run, they will crumble, too.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconxuhurux:
XUhuruX Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know exactly how you feel. I am madly in love with someone older than me (14 years older, to be exact). But he doesn't know I have feelings for him.
So what, does age have to matter? My father is 10 years older than my mom. Well, unless you're no more than 15 years apart I'd say you go for it :) If you both love each other truly there's nothing stopping you.
Reply
:iconess-kaa:
ess-kaa Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
i had relationships only with women 20years older than me (i'm 25)
i don't see the problem
Reply
:icontwiwolf:
TwiWolf Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Age doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you are comfortable with the person. I'm 16 years old, turning 17 this year, and my boyfriend is 25 years old. We've been together for almost 4 months now :)
Don't be afraid to be with this person, no matter what anyone says.
Reply
:iconconfidencealive:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
As much as I'd like to agree with the "age doesn't matter" idea, I really strongly disagree, simply because especially when you're younger, it's really difficult to grow with someone who is growing on a different plane from you. And it's easy to fall "in love" with someone older than you, I know, but there really does come a time when age makes a difference in your experience with each other, because you're unequally experienced in life, and the older will have to hold themselves back for the younger, or try and drag the younger up to speed before they are ready. Think about trying to have a friendship with someone considerably younger than you; I've been worn out before trying to maintain a relationship like that. That's my experience on age difference.

I don't know your situation, and it's not up to me to make judgements. But you know what, my approach on life is this, and maybe it will help you: if it's meant to happen, it will. If you're committed to do what it takes to have what you want, it will happen. But be careful. Because as you grow older, what you thought you wanted yesterday may not be what you want today, and it might be completely different tomorrow. You're growing and changing. Be sure. Get to know him better. Grow closer, build a stronger relationship. If you love him, then be committed to grow to and with him. And I wish you the very, very best in whatever you may do <3
Reply
:iconberenique:
berenique Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
While I actually was going to leave a comment similar to yours, there are parts you mentioned I don't agree with.
Naturally there are 'issues' couples with a significant age differential face that other couples would never even encounter.
However, it is not entirely accurate to say that the older would have to 'drag along' the younger. Rather, in a healthy relationship, there is a flux of experience from either partner to the other, as both have lived different lives so far and can contribute to the relationship from alternative sources. Therefore the experience within the relationship might be more yielding, if more destructive in the aftermath, for both, as an opportunity to comprehend one's own person and the extent of it on a deeper level, facilitated by the 'crasser' interhuman circumstances.
If what you say is the case, that the older is 'keeping back' for the younger, then I would question why they are involved with a person that large their junior in the first place. Leaving age of consent and the ability to grasp the faculties of a mature relationship aside, the younger does have to have a higher than average cognitive set up in order to attract the senior. IMHO an adult displaying attraction to a younger person, who is not yet at least partially mentally developed, behaves tangent to paraphilia.
Reply
:iconconfidencealive:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Although honestly I didn't really understand what you said for the way you wrote it, your opinion/argument is fair.
It doesn't change my opinion mostly for not understanding just what exactly you said, but that's hardly anything worth mentioning :) it's just what I've chosen personally. I'm happily engaged to a beautiful young woman I've known for 6 years who is only a little younger than me (I'm sure if "fate" had brought me someone significantly younger it might have at least waited till we were both much older and matured enough to work with it, but I'm quite happy with my current situation) I encourage people to look for a partner close to their age but I certainly don't expect anyone to live by the standards I have for myself if they disagree. Fair enough? :)
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:iconberenique:
berenique Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
I certainly didn't mean to attack your POV, I simply offered my personal views in contrast to yours. We both obviously made different experiences.
'It takes all kinds to make the world go round', so if you and your fiancée are as happy with each other as any other couple, it's a good day.
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:iconconfidencealive:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Right (:
Reply
:iconanimap-netolins:
AnimaP-NetoLins Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Professional Filmographer
the best for you is what make you happy, in the real life theres no good or bad side just decisions do you make, and that affect you and change your life.
Reply
:iconjohnson1414:
Johnson1414 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
I love someone who's older than me too and I cry when I don't see him no more...

Your secret are my thoughts....

I'm sorry that I don't know what to do either so I can't help you
Reply
:iconcherryjjv:
cherryjjv Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Age only matters to the psycho teens with odd mindsets.

In all my life, I've never met an older and/or married couple the same age.
Love is love, screw the "age" crap.
Reply
:iconlinkinanneww:
LinkinAnneww Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
I'm going to go out on a limb here, without any other information presented to me other than the DAS, and say no.
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