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Submitted by - DAS Helper 1

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:iconmarajayne95:
MaraJayne95 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you'd be surprised. a lot of people (myself included) have a strange sense of humour (mine's rather dark, and dry, and almost everything I say has an edge of sarcasm to it). there are others out there.
but you are in a difficult situation. i'm not going to tell you to abandon this man. and, as i keep pointing out to people, age isn't really a problem. it's only a problem if you LET it become one.
you'll need to respect his current relationship as much as you possibly can. it may end, but, then again, it may not. you can't help what happens. but don't try and get in the way of it. it'll only poison your current relationship with him.
stay friends with him, but if he stays with this other girl for much longer, i'd say it would be time to move on.
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:iconx-x-panda-x-x:
X-x-Panda-x-X Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013
You'll be okay.
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:iconemoturtlefrk:
emoturtlefrk Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know both
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:iconemoturtlefrk:
emoturtlefrk Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh trust me honey, there are PLENTY of people that can handle sarcasm.
Then there are some who need to learn a fucking joke.
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:iconkaulitzwolf:
KaulitzWolf Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013   Writer
That age gap doesn't matter, but his relationship does. Don't try and be anything more than a friend now, but in the case that they break up you should be there for him and then maybe he'll take you instead. Just don't try and force them apart because then you'll lose him.
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:icontamani13:
Tamani13 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's not the age gap but the girlfriend I would see as the problem. I don't think it's cool to get in the way of someone else's relationship.
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:iconrodrighus:
Rodrighus Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
I give it a shot.
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:iconconfidencealive:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's nice to find someone who can understand you really well. But just because someone understands you well, or you might be attracted, doesn't necessarily mean that it is right to pursue a romantic relationship. You already know that - he already has a girlfriend and he is older than you. So don't worry, I don't think you're missing your once-in-a-lifetime chance [= It sounds to me like you know what's right for yourself, so I'm not going to tell you what I think is right or wrong. I'm not trying to discourage you; you'll find the right person for you, the one that knows you deeply and understands you perfectly; if it is meant to happen, it will happen, and you will know that it is right. [=
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:iconthe-lost-hope:
The-Lost-Hope Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Keep the hope that you will because it could be anyone, anytime, that stales your heart away and makes you happy. And trust me there are plenty of people out there who love sarcasm and dark humor.
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:icongodsd1ldo:
godsd1ldo Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
I love sarcasm!
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:iconpaytonwolfe:
PaytonWolfe Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
if it helps you feel better I was in the same situation for two years :) he had someone for awhile, but we were still best friends, when he had been single for awhile i mustered up the courage and asked him out, he has 7 years on me, and here we are just over a year later, still going strong <3
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:icondianavvolf:
DianaVVolf Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You can never know :) Do not wait it but they can broke up and age in a lot of cases doesn't metter :meow:
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:iconapidae12:
Apidae12 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
He has a girlfriend... sorry but there are almost 7 billion humans on the planet, you'll find someone. Messing with other people's relationships is a no go.
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:iconsemeiya:
Semeiya Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There doesn't seem to be any indication that they are messing with his relationship. The mentioning that he has a girlfriend is a reason why the secret teller cannot act upon her feelings. I'm not sure if your comment intended to be, but I thought it held a hint of accusation and rudeness.

No matter how much people like to delude themselves into thinking they can, you CANNOT control your emotions. The secret teller should not be accused of messing with another's relationship just because they happen to like somebody, and said somebody has a partner. They haven't tried to interfere as far as this secret implies, and their feelings are secret, with the indication that they will remain so. They are allowed to feel whatever they wish.
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:iconapidae12:
Apidae12 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
Of course you can't control how you feel or who you love... but you can be mature enough to either act or not act on those feelings, depending on the situation.
My comment was not intended to be accusatory at all, however I'm reading a lot of people here saying "just go for it!" which tends to make me jump on the defensive lol.

I'm not saying it's wrong for ST to like this person. You can like whoever you want, you can't control that. But if this guy is already in a happy relationship then it would be wrong to act upon your feelings for your own gain. Your actions have real life consequences and you need to think about how it would affect others.
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:iconjacob-reddinger:
jacob-reddinger Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My mom and dad are ten years - almost exactly - apart in age, and they've been married for 25 years now . . .
the age difference means nothing. . .
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:iconamber1142:
Amber1142 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Student Writer
My brother is the most sarcastic dumb ass on this planet, he is so sarcastic and that is the only part of his vocabulary so much that he probably hasnt spoken straight since we started high school. My brother has lots of friends (though i questions how but guys are weird so whatever). I say tell this guy what you feel, and if you get rejected then shrug it off. You are in college, you are young and have lots of other options then just this one dude. Trust me, i've been in love once and with time, you move on.
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:iconsaekogami:
SaekoGami Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Student Artisan Crafter
This may not be the best advice, but try to tell him how you feel, if he always has a girlfriend, maybe he is desperately trying to find the right girl, forget the age gap, and give it a shot.
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:iconthousandcookie:
ThousandCookie Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013   Digital Artist
On the other hand, he could be completely content with his current girlfriend and would rather not have other people tell him how they feel, because it can plant a thought that leads to actions which roughly translates to "this person could be trying to sabotage what I have and I don't want that/Oh, it must be X behaviour making them feel that way, maybe I should stop X behaviour."

She's happy and enjoys his company as a friend, what's wrong with that? I think the sensible thing here would be to only approach him while taken if the ST feels the only way of getting over her feelings would be to talk over them with him, while reassuring him it's only to talk about it as friends.



I do think it goes deeper than that, though. ST:

- "we'll never be together" Never is a very negative word. It works in some contexts, but this seems more of an "oh, nothing good will ever happen to me" so stop. Stop that shit right now.

- "____ probably only sees me as X" Predicting other people's thoughts about you, generally not a good thing, mainly when you feel badly about yourself. Stop deflecting your feelings about yourself onto other people. The first time you ask someone what they actually think of you and you find out they think you're a nice person is pretty mind-blowing. In addition, just because you think you're an "annoying college girl" doesn't mean that you are.

- THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE LIKE YOU. There are always people who are going to get you. Just because you aren't surrounded with them right now doesn't mean they aren't there. I went most of my life without any, got one, then two more, eventually lost them all, got two plus another two people who were there all along, then seemingly lots, then felt like I had none, and now there are a few plus one super special lobster. Things change.

I remember that time I split up with my first boyfriend and convinced myself noone else would ever like me. Anyone else remember that part of their life? Yeah. Turns out we were pretty silly. If we still haven't figured that out, we will do one day.


tl;dr I don't think that a guy in the workplace who you might have feelings for is actually your problem.
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