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For more information on the group, please read our journals.
Submitted by - DAS Helper 6
You are invited to anonymously contribute your secrets to DeviantArtSecret.
Each secret can be a regret, hope, funny experience, unseen kindness, fantasy, belief, fear, betrayal, erotic desire, feeling, confession or childhood humiliation.
Reveal anything – as long as it is true and you have never shared it with anyone before.
For help or assistance, visit the INTERNATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION WIKI.
Before you send your secrets in, please read the GROUP RULES.
For a list of stock accounts, please read the shout-board on our main page.
For more information on the group, please read our journals.
Submitted by - DAS Helper 6
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Comments36
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In order to not hate yourself, you need to stand up to the voices inside you that say you deserve to be hated and should hate yourself. Even if they have all the evidence in the world to prove that you should hate yourself, you need to find a way to counter that.
I'll give you an example. Let's say the evidence is that you do things that you normally consider bad or evil. Maybe you think about hurting people, or something. There's two solutions that I've used to great effect to counter their arguments for this example, even given their evidence.
One, demand proof that what they claim to be bad REALLY is bad. This can really piss them off, as they might panic thinking you might be trying to do the thing they think is bad. But you can just say that you're not planning to, but just that, given it is ultimately uncertain how bad it REALLY is, you're not prepared to hate yourself just yet. You'll give yourself a safe haven to explore life. They can usually agree to that.
Two, ask them to help you change yourself. Rather than letting them attack you over and over, get them on your side - you can argue that the pain of hating yourself doesn't give you the space emotionally to really transform your life, examine your choices objectively, and find new avenues for action and ways of understanding yourself. You can tell them that they can either get on board, or shut up - because you won't hate yourself either way, but you're willing to listen to WHY they want you to hate yourself and to come up with REASONABLE solutions with them to the problems that concern them. This approach makes an ally out of your previous enemy, and works very well.
There might be other reasons why you hate yourself, but usually the main reason is the one I mentioned - you're doing something you think is bad. Just be sure to stand up to whatever voice is giving you the message to hate yourself, and you'll be ok. Tell them "I WON'T hate myself - but what other options are on the table? Help me out dude!" - of course, use your own words. Don't believe the self-hate voice! There's always another way to handle its concerns.
If you want to learn more about working through emotional issues at their root - inside youself- then check out my website www.theworldwithin.org - it covers all sorts of issues! There's even an article about self-acceptance here: [link]
Hope it helps, and good luck in life! Ciao!
I'll give you an example. Let's say the evidence is that you do things that you normally consider bad or evil. Maybe you think about hurting people, or something. There's two solutions that I've used to great effect to counter their arguments for this example, even given their evidence.
One, demand proof that what they claim to be bad REALLY is bad. This can really piss them off, as they might panic thinking you might be trying to do the thing they think is bad. But you can just say that you're not planning to, but just that, given it is ultimately uncertain how bad it REALLY is, you're not prepared to hate yourself just yet. You'll give yourself a safe haven to explore life. They can usually agree to that.
Two, ask them to help you change yourself. Rather than letting them attack you over and over, get them on your side - you can argue that the pain of hating yourself doesn't give you the space emotionally to really transform your life, examine your choices objectively, and find new avenues for action and ways of understanding yourself. You can tell them that they can either get on board, or shut up - because you won't hate yourself either way, but you're willing to listen to WHY they want you to hate yourself and to come up with REASONABLE solutions with them to the problems that concern them. This approach makes an ally out of your previous enemy, and works very well.
There might be other reasons why you hate yourself, but usually the main reason is the one I mentioned - you're doing something you think is bad. Just be sure to stand up to whatever voice is giving you the message to hate yourself, and you'll be ok. Tell them "I WON'T hate myself - but what other options are on the table? Help me out dude!" - of course, use your own words. Don't believe the self-hate voice! There's always another way to handle its concerns.
If you want to learn more about working through emotional issues at their root - inside youself- then check out my website www.theworldwithin.org - it covers all sorts of issues! There's even an article about self-acceptance here: [link]
Hope it helps, and good luck in life! Ciao!