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Secret. 12943 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 12943 by DeviantArtSecret
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Submitted by - DAS Helper 6
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:iconoliveman40:
Oliveman40 Featured By Owner May 22, 2013
In order to not hate yourself, you need to stand up to the voices inside you that say you deserve to be hated and should hate yourself. Even if they have all the evidence in the world to prove that you should hate yourself, you need to find a way to counter that.

I'll give you an example. Let's say the evidence is that you do things that you normally consider bad or evil. Maybe you think about hurting people, or something. There's two solutions that I've used to great effect to counter their arguments for this example, even given their evidence.

One, demand proof that what they claim to be bad REALLY is bad. This can really piss them off, as they might panic thinking you might be trying to do the thing they think is bad. But you can just say that you're not planning to, but just that, given it is ultimately uncertain how bad it REALLY is, you're not prepared to hate yourself just yet. You'll give yourself a safe haven to explore life. They can usually agree to that.
Two, ask them to help you change yourself. Rather than letting them attack you over and over, get them on your side - you can argue that the pain of hating yourself doesn't give you the space emotionally to really transform your life, examine your choices objectively, and find new avenues for action and ways of understanding yourself. You can tell them that they can either get on board, or shut up - because you won't hate yourself either way, but you're willing to listen to WHY they want you to hate yourself and to come up with REASONABLE solutions with them to the problems that concern them. This approach makes an ally out of your previous enemy, and works very well.

There might be other reasons why you hate yourself, but usually the main reason is the one I mentioned - you're doing something you think is bad. Just be sure to stand up to whatever voice is giving you the message to hate yourself, and you'll be ok. Tell them "I WON'T hate myself - but what other options are on the table? Help me out dude!" - of course, use your own words. Don't believe the self-hate voice! There's always another way to handle its concerns.

If you want to learn more about working through emotional issues at their root - inside youself- then check out my website www.theworldwithin.org - it covers all sorts of issues! There's even an article about self-acceptance here: [link]

Hope it helps, and good luck in life! Ciao!
Reply
:iconhalperin98:
halperin98 Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are you. Perfect in your own way, a person, like any other, who deserves to live.
Reply
:iconcamiwolf09:
camiwolf09 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Don't worry about bullies and other jerks.
They're TRYING to make you feel that way!
Just be yourself :)
Reply
:iconteselskap:
teselskap Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2013
Believe yourself, and love yourself. see there is a person who loves you
Reply
:iconpyukes:
Pyukes Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There can't be someone like this for everyone, believe me.
Reply
:iconziluna:
Ziluna Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You just need to look a little harder. Open your eyes wider. Give people a chance. If you never try, how can you be sure of anything?
Reply
:iconpyukes:
Pyukes Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you for those nice words, I really appreciate that :) but I don't believe in that, I wish I could but I'm just like that.
Reply
:iconteselskap:
teselskap Featured By Owner May 4, 2013
I LOVE YOU AND THE REST OF THE WORLD
Reply
:iconpyukes:
Pyukes Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
heh, I like you, you are kinda optimistic, aren't you? :D
Reply
:iconteselskap:
teselskap Featured By Owner May 6, 2013
hahah lol ty i like you too
Reply
:iconluckymewpony:
luckymewpony Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013
Same here. I hate myself too.
Reply
:icontavros12:
tavros12 Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist
DONT FUCKING HATE YOURSELF
Reply
:iconglassmagnolia:
glassmagnolia Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist
Who you are is a human being that deserves better than the cards they were dealt. You aren't alone though. It's only my opinion, but I think it's the best people that suffer. I think you are going to turn out better and stronger in the end than all of the people who gave you hell. Hang in there, I was bullied too. Those years don't last forever.
Reply
:iconxxjamasjuntosnuncase:
somewher someone loves you
Reply
:iconmishirutsuki:
MishiruTsuki Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you are you, we are born to find why we were born your just being human
Reply
:iconastro-creep166:
Astro-Creep166 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like you
Reply
:iconcaseyjewels:
CaseyJewels Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2013  Student Writer
It is not your fault, and nobody deserves to go through what you have. Just know there are people to care, and I'm not just saying that. I wouldn't be taking the time to comment if I didn't care, and I don't even know who you are. I hope that you are able to find some peace down the road, and don't be afraid to tell somebody you need help.

I know a radio DJ you can call and talk to, if you want to talk. He does something every April to bring attention to child abuse, and he just started his annual Live For 175 yesterday (Friday). If you don't want your call aired, he won't. He's not "qualified", per say, but he's been able to help so many people, and maybe he can help you as well.
Reply
:iconnocturnravyn:
NocturnRavyn Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2013  Hobbyist Interface Designer
You've got a couple options here: You can let all of your horrific experiences beat you down, or you can let them make you stronger. If you let them defeat you, maybe you'll become an example, to those going through the same thing, of what not to do. If you let them make you stronger, you can become an example, you'll be able to relate to people going through the same thing. Whatever your choice, you have more people paying attention to you than you might think, so the question is, "What will you decide to be?"
Reply
:iconhjoranna:
Hjoranna Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
:hug:
Reply
:iconsparkknight2:
SparkKnight2 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Since when did all of these people fortune tellers?
You might get out of this, but no one really knows.
It is probable to believe that if you keep living that your chances will increase in finding happiness, but then again you might not.
Not trying to dampen your spirits or anything, just saying "I don't know the future."
Despite theses things though I do hope you find happiness. :D
God bless~
Reply
:iconemoturtlefrk:
emoturtlefrk Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm the exact same way :/ it wasn't my teacher though, it was my entire family. My "mother" only had me to keep my father around, which didn't work very well since they split when i was 2. And ever since they've only fought over me just to bitch at each other about child support payments.
i'm 17 now, and will be 18 in December. No real reason for living other than being a tool to make others lives a living hell :s which is probably why no one who ever says "i love you" to me has EVER stayed long after that :/
Reply
:icontrexasaurusman:
trexasaurusman Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Hurting yourself sucks because of how addicting it is, but you'll get passed it. Getting abused by someone hurts, but will leave little to no scars as time goes by. Committing suicide isn't worth it... I've tried. You'll get passed it, believe me. I went 8 years without any friends, now I have 2 best friends who would "go the distance" for me. You'll get there, but it's going to take time and effort from you. If you want to talk about it, or learn more about my past. Go ahead and message me, I'm always willing to help someone who is going down the same path I went down.
Reply
:iconmpgirl911:
MPgirl911 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Someday someone will hug you and say, "But you are so important to me!" someday that day will come.
Reply
:iconconfidencealive:
confidenceAlive Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You were born because you are important and you have an important purpose. You were born to live passionately in spite of all the hardships. You were born to have joy more abundantly. You were born because your life is lovely and beautiful and valuable beyond measure.You were born to show the world that you. are. beautiful. and so worth it <3 And you were born because there is a spark inside of you with the potential to set your world on fire and you need to set it free. So go out there and become who you were born to be. :hug:
Reply
:iconkanami-sempai3060:
Kanami-Sempai3060 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist
If the person who posted this secret need to talk to someone, I am more than willing to talk cause I have had the same things happened to me.
Reply
:icondianavvolf:
DianaVVolf Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I can understand you. I don't know how old are you but it can be better if you sinish the school and you have to do your own things and make your own life. I'm sure you'll find yourself :) If you need somebody to talk to just note me! ^^ :heart:
Reply
:iconkiayrue:
Kiayrue Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Everyone has a reason to be born.
So just wait, your time will come, and you will know why are you born! ^.^
(sorry for bad English :/ )
Reply
:iconcrazytarget101:
CrazyTarget101 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I wonder the same thing, friend.
Reply
:iconshoka98:
Shoka98 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are awesome, good mistress.
Reply
:iconcrazytarget101:
CrazyTarget101 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconxxnibinonekoxx:
xXNibiNoNekoXx Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
Maybe, just maybe, we were born to witness everything that is here. I like to think sometimes maybe human beings are the only sentient creatures in the Universe, maybe there aren't any other highly evolved forms like us, that we're the only creatures to have ever lived to look up at the night sky in awe at the beauty of the stars, or be thankful for the warmth of the sun we feel on our skin, that we're the only ones that wonder how everything fits nicely together, where it came from, that we're the only ones to write songs and create art to celebrate everything around us. Humans might possibly be the only thing here that can explore, learn and admire everything in the Universe itself and because of this, I feel that's our job. That for the short time we live, we really need to live and take advantage of this brief existence to respect the Universe and that includes everything in it, even ourselves. <3
Reply
:iconthe-lost-hope:
The-Lost-Hope Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Student General Artist
:hug: I don't have advice to really offer you but I do hope that things will get better for you! And if not soon maybe later as time can change things.
Reply
:iconbelgiantervuren:
belgiantervuren Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
You have quite a few options actually if you take the time and effort to look. You'd be surprised who cares for you and who doesn't when it comes down to it. But if you are really worried and having depressing thoughts all the time (or even lethargic days where you just don't want to do anything but lie there) i would suggest talking to someone strongly. And not just through internet, find a person face to face to talk too.
This is not your fault, and needing help to get out of a bad place is very common. Speaking as someone who's been friends with people struggling with self-loathing and depression, therapy or medication can sometimes be the answer. Simply put, something chemically is different and they need the extra help (like I need step by step instruction to not feel like a total idiot in math classes)
Another thing, you might not be as transparent as you think. Some of my friends refused to seek help and refused help from others. I can tell you it hurts more to see someone you care for in pain than most people realize. Asking them for help might scare them and yourself, but in the end most people would rather do that than watch someone they love tear themselves apart.
Reply
:iconfelix55:
Felix55 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Just keep going. I know that sounds cliche, but one day, after all of the shit has washed away... you'll realize that the world you've experienced so far is just small fraction of the world there is. There is so much to experience, so many better people in the world to meet. You may not see it now, but you will see it one day if you just keep surviving. Survive to live.

Don't worry. This is nowhere near the best time of your life. The best is yet to come.
Reply
:iconadmein:
Admein Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
You're a person in pain. I've been down that road and if you want to talk about it, maybe even get an online friend, send me a PM.
Reply
:iconkei-angel:
Kei-Angel Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I thought I was the only one. Now I know that not. Don't worry, I also suffered that. -Rather, I'm suffering from it- (Sorry my bad english)
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