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Masochist.I stay up late so I dont have to go to sleep.
I fear the monsters that nighttime brings.
When I can stay up no longer,
I dig my nails into my arms.
I bite my lip so hard it bleeds.
I scratch down from my cheeks to my collarbone.
I do anything so I dont have to sleep.
So I dont have to have my fears tear the sleep from me.
So I tear it from myself.
Sometimes I text you.
So you comfort me, and I try not to hurt myself,
Because I know you can feel the pain.
Not where I feel it-
It all goes straight to your heart.
But as soon as the screen goes dark,
The monsters of the night descend.
Spiders crawling on my arms.
Phantoms whispering secrets in my ear.
Secrets I dont want to hear.
Secrets about death.
I hide under the blankets and press my fist to my mouth
To keep me from crying out.
My eyes fill with tears and my heart shudders.
A whimper escapes my lips.
Darkness closes in.
Just when I think I will scream,
My phone buzzes and the room lights up,
If only temporarily
Goodbye, miscarried babyI love the little baby that I never got to hold
The baby that I never got to see.
And maybe, just maybe that baby would love us, too
If only that baby got to be.
I love the little baby that was never able to smile
Never even able to survive.
And maybe that baby would have a life worth living
If only that baby was alive.
And maybe that baby had mommy's blue eyes
And daddy's smile, and grandma's tight hugs.
And honestly, there's no way to describe that little baby
And no way to describe the way it was loved.
Crown of ThornsShe wakes up with red staining her pillow
and the taste of blood like iron in her mouth
It stains her teeth and leaks from her lips, and as she
rinses her mouth out, she can’t help thinking that
it’s better than dirt and ashes
it feels like she’s wearing a noose
of broken promises and shattered glass
that tightens around her throat with every day that passes
She nails a smile to her face
and doesn't let herself think the word dying
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More