|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
LifelineI hate how I look;
The bags beneath my eyes.
I hate who I am;
The endless torrent of lies.
Sometimes I do things I know I shouldn't
And I don't do things I know I should,
Only that I could and would,
Because that's how people work.
Everyone has motives
And nobody is selfless
In this world that doesn't want
Everyone's gonna die
And I'm not gonna lie;
Sometimes that thought is the only thing
That gets me through the day.
I miss my old razor blade;
Scissors don't go deep enough
This red isn't my favorite shade;
I like it purer,
Then I could be surer
That I'm a threat to myself.
I'm trying to cut down,
As apposed to cutting everything else,
But I doubt I'll ever stop
Because every slash,
Every bloody drop,
The whole crimson rash,
I'm still alive
And I am
I admit it. I self harm. I know what you all think, and the answer is no, I don't do it for attention. I do it for a sense of control. I do it so I don't have to feel the emotional pain anymore.
Many people think that it's easy for self harmers to stop, but newsflash: it's not. The first cut is always the shallowest, the wondering, the curiosity. The first cut is the one that's the most dangerous. Because that first cut is the one that's going to make you addicted.
And believe me, you will get addicted. Because when you make that first 'innocent' slice across your skin, the short-term relief that comes with it will leave you in ecstasy. I'm not trying to make you think that self harm is glorious in any way, because it's not. The scars that come with it become so annoying that you wonder why you ever self harmed in the first place. You get mad at yourself, since you can't wear short sleeves anymore. And then that anger at yourself turns into more self harming.
I want to be....I want to be one of those girls
The ones with the three inch gap between their thighs and the stick thin legs.
One of those teenagers
Who you see in the street with their arms all sliced up.
One of those children
Who don't have to count everything.
One of those kids
Who have a boyfriend and are never alone.
One of those students
Who has loads of friends.
One of those people
Who can be just 'Fine'.
But I want to be Normal.
I want to be able to eat.
I want to be able to not cut.
I want to be able to just relax.
I want to be able to not be alone.
I want to be able to make friends.
I want to be just fine.
Dear DA 4/22/12Dear DA-
I have learned that fear is a device of our own creation. I often watch myself and others in situations where fear is turned into rage, pain, and depression. The communication breaks down and often a fight will rage that never end because the real issue isn't being addressed. I have noticed more and more how fear manipulates our lives in negative ways. It prevents progress, undermines positivity, and ruins our self esteem. We shouldn't ever fear the things that may happen, did happen, or are happening. Instead, I have learned that we should fear only fear itself and those who sew it.
For those who sew fear and negativity cannot help us or themselves. It is easy to be dragged down by them and the insecurity that surrounds us all. This is why we must surround ourselves with people who love and care for us. They are the ones who will bring us up no matter how horrible it may be. It is the people who never make a effort to change that we must avoid. They will never truly love or a
Keep in Touch!
Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More