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Secret. 12687 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 12687 by DeviantArtSecret
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leleni-asylum Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
I feel the exact same way... I would love to help you
IndigoSkyes Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
If your family knows, I should hope they'd be willing to get you help. You don't have to go through this alone. :heart:
EscapeingRunaway Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Student Writer
I go through the exact same thing.
Shaun-shau Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Trust me i panic about my thoughts like this to and most people do i have crazy compulsive thoughts like this all the time and it is terrifying but the important thing is you know that you would never actually bring yourself to do it.
CrisAlvarez14 Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
Dear person: You have obsessive thoughts. Don't worry, lots of people out there have them too, including me, and that doesn't make any of us wicked.

Now, there are a number of reasons why people has obsessive thoughts (OCD, Panic disorder, Anxiety disorder...) and I can't help you with determining which one you have, but I can advise you to seek the help of a specialist.
loveuumbreon Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
We all love you, so much that it hurts us, random strangers, to see you this way. If you want help, but can't tell someone that you love and know about this, you may want to check out the International Suicide Prevention Wiki listed above. If you just need support, send a note! It may be a form of OCD. Anger OCD is really common among teens, so I wouldn't worry. Just keep holding on. If you need anything, just send a note.
NeonColoredRain Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I felt the exact same way. I thought if I ever wanted to commit suicide. it would be me doing a school shooting. Weird, huh? These thoughts are weird.
Aiyukilove7 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
mysteryAphrodite Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Go get a diagnosis. I know... how it feels to hate and just want to get rid of it by killing. You shouldn't...
starlessblueeyes Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It Gets Better.
KaulitzWolf Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   Writer
School is hard, and people cruel. I suggest talking to a counselor though, either at school, or a clinic. In high school I had a lot of anger, fear, and hate building up. I ended up turning it against myself and causing harm to myself, but having a mental health professional to talk me through it and give me coping techniques helped immensely. If that's too difficult at this point though try channeling that emotion into a craft or project. I used writing, but everyone has their own best method. Good luck :)
MomoChiharu Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student General Artist
I felt (and sometimes still feel) that way. Everytime I go to school I wish I could just burn it down. But don't give up. I shielded myself in my drawings, which are all around my room. People say they're sadistic, they're scary and such. They're a representation of my feelings. If I didn't let them go through my drawings, I wouldn't be writing this. Get some help, get a diagnosis, express yourself in some way. It's ok, there probably isn't nothing wrong with you at all. You just need a break. I needed it, too. And don't feel bad or ashamed about yourself getting some help, there's nothing wrong with it, really.
blacklittledot Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
Such a supporting group here :)
saywhatproductions Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student General Artist
I feel for you. The anger you must have felt. Go, be brave and get a Diagnosis. Don't give up.
5x5shadow5x5 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student General Artist
I planned it, I knew exactly how I was going to kill them and who to kill first. I knew I was going to do it but I got pulled out of the school too soon.
RougeCerberus Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i use to want to burn the freakin school down. Now i just wish school would burn so i wont have to go but that's different i guess, plus college isn't that bad. I use to be bullied a lot back in 7th. Threatened physically, abused mentally and just humiliated any chance those assholes got. I finally ended all that but the emotional scars are still there. I'd like to say i was unaffected by them but i've developed a thick skin, bit of a cold heart. Good or bad? Dunno, but i know i try to treat others the way i want to be treated. It sucks to be hurt, and it sucks even more when the people that hurt you dont even try, they just do, and they're people you care a lot about. I use to hate the people that made my life miserable. I dont anymore. I let go of the anger and the pain as much as i could. It went from hate to deep seething dislike. Now its just deep dislike, but it keeps getting better as time goes by. And i feel better the more i let go. You'll get there too eventually, just keep being as strong as you can be, even if sometimes it doesn't seem to be very strong at all. Remember, violence isn't the answer, that just adds to the big pile of shit. Its better to walk away from that than to stand around smelling it.
Aiyukilove7 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
:iconbrohugplz: Here now you haz hugs!
RougeCerberus Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awww thank you :hug:
Aiyukilove7 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
You're welcome! ^.^
Sandow45 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
I know that feel bro. But whatever gives you peace of mind, right?
Cimmeris Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
Wait...there are people who didn't do this in school? Mine was more 5-8th grade, by HS things had gotten better and were great by college, but everyone has a different period of horrible years I think...

Luck to you, I hope. I guess it'll get better? The anger's always going to be there, but you can probably find friends that bring you enough to joy to offset and manage it.
xXNibiNoNekoXx Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
I'm not sure if you have an actual disorder or if these thoughts are a result of bullying. But whatever this may be, just know, that outside of the world of school there are plenty of people willing to give their love to you. Even if you don't know them yet, in the future there will be people who will stand beside you and love you wholeheartedly. There will always be assholes out there, but there will always, equally, be nice loving people as well.
BlizzardLT Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
The best options is to think about your resposibilities rather than outcome. When you decide something that involve others, always think about your role in those actions, about the resposibility you hold towards others. Nowadays no one is talking about that there fore we have what we have, wars massacres etc. no one is taking responsibility for their actions, thats is so wrong..
SassyTheGee Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Finding an expressive outlet is a great way to actually relieve these urges. Drawing these scenes and these dark feelings or working out anger, fear, and whatever you are feeling into a sport can really help.
SinfulAnkh Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
Usually I think about bombing my damned school, since everyone there hates me anyway l:l
And the reason I think about bombing is because a bomb could be strong enough to destroy everything in an instant, while a massacre takes too long and gives the police too much time to get there.
Astro-Creep166 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student General Artist
I still think this way, I feel better when I think this way too.
MPgirl911 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I use to type up stories about doing all the things I wanted done to people on my typewriter. There was something about hitting the keys with all my strength that was really soothing and helped me through that stage of life.
CoyoteDove Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
There isn't anything wrong with you hun. The difference between people who hurt and/or kill others, and we people who have thoughts. Is the choice we make of weather or not to commit the crimes the thoughts urge. You and I can talk whenever you want, two alike people sharing thoughts.
Scylas26 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student General Artist
Wether you kill them or not, they will be gone of your life at some point.

They do what you can't, and you are that much better just for that. There is a solution to every issue.

My issues are different (anxiety, depression). I lost will to believe in modern medication due to past experiences, but I found my solution with yoga.
What did not work for me may work for you, I believe time and effort will help you find the answers.

I think murder is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, just like suicide.

People all have issues, and it's good to see that you want to deal with yours with goodwill. I have faith in you. Also, feel free to talk to me if you want.
limeheer Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
the reason why not many has commented is because that we cant be anonymous like you
xenomorph-lycan Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
Youre not alone. I use to think like that too. Maybe for different reasons too you but I think many people do
Look up the Super Columbine RPG and also the documentary on it called Playing Columbine. You may find it interesting
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March 5, 2013
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