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Innocence (73)Tired of mumbling when they mention your name-
Desperate, longing, to simply be sane.
Want to be free, to dance with the wind
No longer thinking what we had was sin.
Used to be open, carefree and young
Long before we knew how love truly stung.
Now so broken with patches and scars,
Thinking this plan has never been ours.
Sure there's a reason for every small tear,
But gratitude is something you will not find here.
Give it some time, let memories build up
Don't think about all the days now corrupt.
Oh to be innocent like I once was,
To answer my questions with words like "Because"
Without having to worry about things in the past...
Not really wondering how long we would last.
ClingyI know I'm clingy.
I'm know I'm needy.
I'm so afraid to let you go.
So afraid that if I do you'll leave.
So afraid you'll abandon me.
I'm afraid that you'll let me go.
Afraid to be alone.
I hold onto you so tight.
I crush your hand with grapping fingers.
Scared that if I let you go you'll disappear.
Scared to loosen my grip and lose you.
Scared I'll fall into eternal darkness.
Into despair and you'll be to far gone to care.
So I'm sorry.
Sorry I hold on so tight.
Sorry I hold with all my might.
I'm sorry I'm weak.
I know it's foolish.
To be afraid.
To be scared.
So I'm sorry.
I just don't want to lose.
The one thing, the only thing that's important.
I don't want to lose.
You my love.
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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