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I'm Fine"Are you okay?"
No. I'm dying. I have to push myself to wake up in the morning, and when I finally do, I want to go back to sleep. Even my best dreams are becoming nightmares. I can't taste food, I can't stand the things I used to love. I'm breaking. I'm fading. I'm dying.
Society is ScreamingSociety is screaming so loud, I can hear it internally
Inside my mind, bouncing off the boundaries
All the dishonor, poverty, lies and disgust sound eternally
I tell the world, warn them of this coming storm, they tell me it's imaginary
The ones who are here to help, they lie through their teeth and lungs
Lock me in, "fixing" me up, sending my mind reeling
Defiantly I fight, bare arms and legs, as they fill me with drugs
They've sent me so far from home, I'm so numb, I can't even feel my feelings
My mind is overflowing with images I don't own
I remain silent, let them believe it's working
Moving slowly through this twisted life I now know
Don't let them in, your soul is still here, in the shadows, lurking
I somber out of the bright white building, fake hope on medication
The pills they gave me, go into the trash, along with my trust in this world
I look for others, minds alike, prepare this movement for fortification
Inside this prison, my ideas have lifted, gotten up and swirled
Between The LinesSix years old,
tired and cold
a girl stood with rags and bruises.
She turned to stare,
tried not to care
beside her the mommy who always uses.
She happened to see,
a mother of three
tied down by the 'devils' on her sleeve.
The little girl asked,
desire well masked
why must they ruin Christmas Eve?
No answer ever came,
only silence to blame
and mommy walked on without one word.
The little girl followed,
a large gulp now swallowed
left her question hanging and simply unheard.
Creature ComfortDown into the depths of her mind
lives a creature who's not very kind
His fangs are sharp and ready to slice
been there, done that more than thrice
This little monster isn't all that rare
he shows up in school, dreams, nightmares
The teachers always said she was out of tune
already gone but much too soon
In their thoughts they held her soul close by
made sure she was fine but hoped not to pry
Now, she's still alive, hanging by a string
a tired angel flying with only one wing
You'd think her peers would want to stop in
Take a little time to wash her of sin
Maybe tell a tale or grasp her hand
stare for a while at her wristband
As much as I'd love to tell you a lie
they never said anything but “try not to die”
Her parents, oh God, they were the worst
only came once to sit and to curse
A phone call or two, but that was the end
they were scared their little girl wasn't on mend
This made her sad, afraid of it being her fault
that she had to go and bring her life to a halt
AnorexiaMeet a girl named No One, with a heart of shattered stone
Staring at the other girl, the one that's not alone
Girl with skin that glistens, with the eyes of crystal seas
Grin of shining diamonds and a laugh like a disease
Flashes just a glance and soon, she's every trouble's cure
She has everything… and No One's off to be like her.
Eating turns into a crime, she'd rather be away
Thrusting fingers down her throat to make herself okay
Watching as her very bones are seen behind her flesh
There she drowns in tears, for she has not yet seen success.
Minutes turn to hours, and these hours turn to days
Every moment slipping, slowly fading into grey
Rapidly, her body turns to nothing but her bones
As she fights for beauty, as she battles for the throne.
Broken hearts must learn to beat, and this she came to know
Learning it the hard way when her heartbeat grew too slow
Yet, she somehow managed still to shine from what's within
Lying in her casket with her hidden, unseen sin.
Final thoughts ins
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More