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(Btw hope it works out!)
So do yourself and your current SO a huge favor, and break-up. Go look for your childhood sweetheart. But do not keep someone else on hold just to "be safe". You are killing them every day you drag it out.
And pretending to love someone while loving someone else is absolutely despicable.
On a more serious note, ask him!
...except I haven't seen the guy in six years.
If he's still around, do ask him.
You're incredibly lucky if you can.
I hope you find the right guy for you...you deserve it.