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In The Distance
In The Distance
I've realized that nothing never really ends
Because it's just the beginning of the emptiness
I want to take back my actions / I want to give you reasons
I said all of the words I've needed
And to the mirror
I wish those were silent confessions / I wish none of this had happened
I finally let out all of those feelings I hid
Beneath my surface
They're just emotions from a fallen / Because without you I'm nothing
I meant every single tear I cried
My one true purpose
I'm feeling so forsaken and faithless / To my world you're everything
I couldn't hold on as I slowly let go of my grip
It took the best of me
All of our moments are worth remembering / This pain in my soul is worth keeping
I didn't stay silent forever as I let my cries slip
So I could weep pathetically
I hope you find the happiness you're seeking / So only one of us will be crying
I will alw
The flower of midnight blooms
As the wind will sway the trees.
But my corpse will dangle helpless
As it is blown by the breeze.
Feel the prick of final judgement
As I am cast into the flame.
Born again into this world;
Where my life is just a game.
I think and try to remember
But the night is simply cold
I return to the ancient tree
where once my soul was sold.
I gather the rope and ladder
while the moon is shining bright.
I kill myself again;
In the quiet of the night...
A lonely obscure defiance;
Where my silent tears will fall.
For none will ever remember
A quiet broken doll...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 14th May 2012
Breaking PointBreaking Point:
Who was I to question you to start?
My reflection now we split apart.
Hate the way your looking at my pain;
I hid my tears in the falling rain.
Forget the way I thought I used to be
I see the man now he isn't me.
He's like a ghost with a shaken past
I don't know how he's gonna last.
Sometimes I feel like I'm giving in
I hit the bottle full of naked sin.
I try to lose the hell I'm living in
But now I'm stuck with my only friend.
I spent nights on the window pane
Look at families playin' family games
Wonder why I'm stickin' outside;
I'm just a monster on the inside...
What happened to the dream I used to feel?
It's like I pushed away the better deal.
I feel the calls of my bitter vice
Spend my nights with a blunt knife...
I used to carve on my dirty skin
I used to feel like I was cleaner then.
Because the only time I feel alive
Is when I let my body take a dive...
The only addicition I could control...
-Chen Yuan Wen, 7th May 2012
Red Letter Day - Prologue
So here I am, writing.
I’m writing, I’m writing – just as you told me to.
I’m writing, I’m writing, I’m writing.
Have you ever noticed that when the sun goes down, this flat changes? It does. The walls are white during the day and lingering brown at night. During the day, I’m with you and the light from outside paints the walls that heavenly color. But when that sun goes down, the demons wake and I’m alone again, even though you’re just a room away.
Somehow it seems less threatening tonight, and I think it’s because you’ve given me an assignment to try and fight off the darkness. You gave me a stack of papers and a pen and told me to write everything that comes to mind.
It’s a strange feeling to have complete freedom. These empty pages are mine to do whatever I please – I could even wipe my ass with them – but they’re also terribly intimidating. The blank page has always been a nemesis of man. It&
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