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One of the newer secrets relates to me too. It's about the real you and the "fantasy" you. I totally would hate the fantasy me in real life. (But it's the "fantasy" me that's inside the shell.
Besides, who gives a fuck what other people think?
It's amazing how a person can train their behaviour, completely unaware of it, because they're told that they're one way even when they're another.
Turns out that while I am caring and loving, I'm not quite as sweet, quiet and innocent as my school friends thought I was.
It's not like I do it on purpose, It's not like I notice it, but, I wish I could be something unhuman.. I want to curl up and starve myself to death.
I barely notice it, But after a while, I would notice myself on my bed, staring at the wall, and gaging on purpose, Like im trying to spew barf from my nose or something.
And when I notice what I'm doing, I stop and Think about how If people would see me, They would Think Of me as a retard.. a creep, or just plain strange.. I know this feeling, But It's way worse for me, Just at the fact of this, I don't want to be buried when I die, I don't want people to know I've existed.
I dont even know If I'm making sense, but it's hard to explain.. let alone understand..