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For goodness sake, just live before dying. That is all there is to life. Make mistakes, be the best you can, be happy, be sad, be friendly, be open, be honest, just... Be.
It's not that long... only about 80 birthdays (is that enough to finally get that present you always wanted?) so if the time between a couple of birthdays is not that nice, be content with the knowledge that things will get better if you just allow yourself to live.
I was sort of suicidal for a while, but not because I wanted to die, just because I was sick of life, and didn't want to live it anymore. Once things get better, your feelings will change. Just try to keep your head up and stick it out until you see some light at the end of the tunnel. It's there, I promise you that