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Secret. 11276 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 11276 by DeviantArtSecret
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:iconskygal333:
skygal333 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I feel for ya. My dad and I are the same way
Reply
:iconflabaflaba123:
flabaflaba123 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2012   General Artist
Owe :( I'm so lucky to have the parents I do... Samclmor, I would have to agree.
Reply
:iconangrymonkeyshow:
AngryMonkeyShow Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can relate so much. TT_TT
Reply
:iconsamclmor:
samclmor Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012
Reading all these secrets makes me realize how truly BLESSED I am. I have plenty of money, pleanty of food, loving family, and then I complain. I'm so sorry.
Reply
:iconbellachip87:
Bellachip87 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
i can relate so much, meaning my mother wants me to give up art for cheerleading and ballet
Reply
:iconocwardturtle:
Ocwardturtle Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012
I can relate SO much
Reply
:iconpetaloftheblackrose:
PetalOfTheBlackRose Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
A friend of mine has to go trough the same, her mother wants her to be perfect. Just go straight at it and tell your mom you're not her ideal kid and that you don't wanna be either. If she's a good mother, she'll understand.
Reply
:iconrbloem:
RBloem Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
well said
Reply
:iconpersondev:
PersonDev Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2011
Tell her. Or tell one of your doctors to tell her. Or leave; find yourself - the person you are without her, because if you conform so much for just one person... that really isn't you, is it?
Reply
:icontexasdreamer01:
TexasDreamer01 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011
Each generation has trouble accepting the next (interestingly, it seems to skip when it comes to grandparents).
Reply
:iconemo-tionalgirl:
EMO-tionalGirl Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011
I don't have siblings, i do believe in God....but tother than that i totally get it. & im no straight A student! :/
Reply
:icontada-no-yume:
Tada-no-Yume Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Mothers are like that.
They just want the best for you.
In an overbearing way.
Try talking to her about it, I'm sure she'll understand.
Reply
:iconceeyochanelfenlied:
CeeyoChanElfenLied Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Believe in yourself ST! Never give in, never back down. Dress how you want to dress and do whatever you want to do. Life your life while you can. x
Reply
:icongoldenqueen:
GoldenQueen Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Oh my god. I could've written this.
Reply
:iconjackzragdoll13:
JackzRagdoll13 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Student General Artist
I know exactly how you feel, ST.

It basically came to a point that my mother told me I was a disappointment because I am infertile (nor do I want children, so that works in my favor), overweight, not athletic or popular or into 'normal' things like 'typical' girls. (I use all these terms lightly as I hate to be sterotypical. Which is exactly what my mother wanted from me.) So, I understand what you're feeling... hopefully your mother will come to a point and realize what she is doing to you is wrong, and that it is not you that needs change, but her attitude towards you. It may be more effective if your siblings can bring it to her attention? I know it helped when my brother (the favourite, also told straight to my face by her) and my father had a handful of arguments about how she treated me and how she was trying to relive her life through me rather than allowing me to have my own. It has been quite a few years and our relationship has mended... well, as much as a relationship like that can be mended. If that is not an option, try finding the courage to tell her yourself if you haven't already?

Something else may be that she is scared because you are not ideal or typical? Sometimes being unable to relate to your child is even more frightening than having to deal with a 'bad' child, per say. Like they say, rasinging children doesn't come with a handbook. Plus, even if there was, it would be totally ineffective because everyone is different and what is good for one is not good for all. When parents have children they have all these hopes and dreams and ideas in their heads that they want for their children, and when a child doesn't fall into their general idea of what you should be, they don't honestly realize that they in turn are harming their child by forcing them to act/feel like they should be something their not simply to make them happy because they believe it will make you happy. Taking that into consideration, the best thing to do regardless is tell your mother these things, and if you are in therapy because of her doing, tell your therapist and see what advice he/she can give you about more effective ways to approach or deal with your mother.

I wish you the best of luck. :heart:
Reply
:icontailoredangelshorror:
TailoredAngelsHorror Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Student Writer
That really sucks, I'm sorry. Sometimes people have an idea stuck in their head for so long they find it hard to move on from it. A mother should be accepting of her daughter. Have you tried saying what you said in the secret to her? It might cause a fight, it might hurt her feelings, but maybe she'll finally start seeing what she has in you. Tell her some things you COULD do together, just so she doesn't feel completely alienated by your differences either. You can still have a relationship, even if it's been weird for you for so long.

Honestly, I always wonder, if I have a girl, will I be able to handle it? I mean, I have all older brothers, my mom has a ton of older brothers, and my dad has all brothers, no sisters in the lot. So, the idea of having, say, a girly girl, really freaks me out. I honestly don't know how to handle girly girls, I don't understand them. I have trouble relating to really sensitive, emotional girls, and what if I had a daughter like that? I wouldn't love her any less, but I would be so scared of messing up and not giving her what she needs and deserves.

So try to think of it that way, maybe your mom is just scared because you're different and she doesn't know how to relate. It doesn't mean she loves you any less, but you just need to tell her that you're different, that you probably won't transform magically into what she expects, and how it makes you feel when she tries. It's rough, but it's usually better to just rip the bandaid off.

Good luck!
Reply
:icontsunoflare:
Tsunoflare Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011
:iconfblikeplz:
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:iconwithallyourheart:
Withallyourheart Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011
Whoa this is me and my mother 4 yrs ago. She finally let me be, i lost weight and turned into everything she said i would be, a lady.
Funny thing is, i always saw myself as the neutral person, not the girly girl/woman. :)
Reply
:iconcaptain-vodka:
captain-vodka Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011
I feel like I could have wrote this years ago..
Reply
:iconbenliteral:
BenLiteral Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I sympathize with you oh, so much.
Reply
:iconbluamu:
BluAmu Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
Way to go ST. It sounds like you have a strong sense of who you are. Be yourself, but continue to work on your relationship with your mom. She might get a better understanding of you, if you show her more of yourself and your unique qualities. Hang in there. :hug:
Reply
:iconunforgottendoom:
unforgottendoom Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
And in that situation, if you are going to a therapist currently, when they ask why you're here or whatever, say that your mom is trying to mold you into her ideal child. It may make your relationship worse or it may make it better, but you'll probably feel better.
Reply
:iconmgillustrations:
MGillustrations Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011   Traditional Artist
I'm sorry your mother isn't approving of you and believes you're faulty because you aren't her ideal child. I think at some point every parent isn't happy with some part of their child or how they turned out or a phase they went through, but they have no control over who the child is regardless of how they raised them. Perhaps you could talk with the therapist (if you're seeing them already) about having a session with your mom so you two have a safe environment to try and communicate in.

If your mother wants to alter you that bad and can't be happy with you as you are, she's not worth your time. Distance yourself, emotionally, just a bit and maybe when you're old enough to try put a bit of physical distance there too. She may be your mother but it doesn't give her the right to make you feel like you've screwed up when you haven't. No one has that right.
Reply
:icondarkqueenalexis:
Darkqueenalexis Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
Hey, I know what you are going through, and don't worry. Mom's are like that:hug:
Reply
:iconkingrefi:
KingRefi Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ohgod. This is me and my mom. -_- I know how you feel dear. Word for word.
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